To give up on my weight/looks

[ItsLightheartedHonest]

I am in my early 40's and have battled my weight since I was about 5 years old. I can lose weight on an extremely restricted diet and get to a thinner version of fat (never been slim!) but it is a miserable way to live.
I think my metabolism is fucked from the yoyo dieting and I also have an under active thyroid working against me. Aibu to give up and just try to be fat and happy?
On the looks side of things, I have completely given up on fake tan so I am now like Casper but with very freckly arms and legs so white they almost look blue. I still wear makeup but a lot less of it, I used to do liquid foundation, powder, blusher, eyebrow pencil, 3 shades of eyeshadow (smokey eye) eyeliner and mascara just for work. I am now down to powder, eyebrow pencil, blusher and mascara.
I am trying to be happy as I am because I genuinely don't have the energy to do it all again but I see other slim, attractive women and I get insanely jealous that they look the way they do and I am just me! Doesn't help that my sister is one of them😢
Aibu to give up and try to be happy as I am?

In your shoes, if I qualified/next time I qualify I'd try WLI if at all possible. Appreciate not everyone can afford it.

With you on the fake tan and make up though! That stuff is purely ornamental, unlike weight, and if you aren't getting enough benefit and enjoyment from it to justify the effort then fuck it.

Sending some hugs.
I feel like I was in your position a few weeks ago. I'm late 30s and tried everything to lose weight and it didn't work. I don't fake tan (never have) but I rarely wear make up these days not even to work. I feel frumpy and just not attractive. And I feel like I'm surrounded with similar people in my position that can do their hair and make up every day, look attractive and stylist. I felt like giving up entirely and just being blurgh for the rest of my life.

I took a step back and trying to remind myself not to compare myself to others. I started seeing a nutritionist rather than looking at diet management. More of a whole round approach to dressing food, exercise, sleep and mood. Its actually really helped. Although weight loss is slow and steady (about 0.3-0.4kg a week). I feel 100% better in myself as I'm not in that miserable deprived state anymore. The slight change has had a big knock-on effect of how I feel about myself, sort of like removing my body feeling rubbish has removed my feeling of being rubbish and unattractive. I actually feel like looking after myself a bit more these last few weeks.

If you can afford it, try Mounjaro. Life changing. And if you can’t, don’t give up. Taking care of yourself is important in lots of ways, and you deserve it.

I felt like that too, like I was never going to feel good about myself ever again. I have been on WLI for 5 months now, lost weigh, feel so much better. I am wearing nicer clothes, care much more about my appearance and feel like I am myself again.

I know WLI are not for everyone but they have changed my life. I had tried everything and was miserable. Now I have hope.

Mounjaro has also changed my life, it helps with insulin resistance which could be the issue you have in losing weight. I've gone from invisible and miserable to feeling great (dare I say sometimes even gorgeous??).

I'm happy to answer any questions you have, I've lost 5 stone in just over a year, going from size 18/20 to a 10/12.

I think maybe the best thing you can do is to try and eat a healthy diet, exercise if you can (or find a way of moving you enjoy-dancing around the kitchen to music, walking in nature etc) and focus on being content with who you are.

Focussing on weight/food/looks doesn't sound like it's making you feel good, so just try to look at things a little more holistically (fruit and veg, vitamin D, grounding and connecting to the wider world). Wishing you the best of luck.

Sorry, should have explained. No money for WLI I'm afraid and I don't qualify for them on the NHS.

Don't give up on yourself @ItsLightheartedHonest

Perhaps put weight/looks to one side for the moment and look at things in a different way.

You have this human body that can walk, communicate, go to work, go out with friends/family, the fact it has some larger fat cells clinging to it here and there and your natural skin colour is "viking" doesn't make it not worth it.

Think of your body as an engine that runs better if you give it better fuel.

I have no scientific research on this, bar me, so a wishy washy study of one, but when I am "looking on the brightside" which is more often than not, I make better choices, lose weight, read more, nothing is too much of a bother.

Enjoy what your body can do not what it can't.

Lol people suggesting WLI. The only difference between having weight loss injections and an extremely restrictive diet is that you don't feel the effects of the extremely restrictive diet while having the injections. You're basically injecting yourself to emulate anorexia, with none of the effort. Bah, weaklings! ;)

Still, that would solve OPs issue of a restrictive diet being "no way to live" I suppose. You'd feel fine, whilst still accumulating all the health problems us anorexic people do and get sent to hospital for. Yay!

OP, if you can possibly be fat and happy, do it. I'm a right hypocrite considering my anorexia, but I really wish I could just be fat and happy. Fat people can be so beautiful too. Health is important, of course, I don't even believe everyone is supposed to be slim and trim though . I think we genuinely all have different healthy levels of body fat. Maybe your body is settling at a weight right for you - only you know if your diet is healthy and moderate or not.

I'd vote eat healthy, nutritious food, move your body in enjoyable ways, and however it settles.. Let it settle. If you can... Again, I'm a hypocrite, because I can't. I'd love it if you could though.

I bet youd look beautiful with a strong nourished body, wind in your hair and redness in your cheeks from a hike. Wouldnt even need an eyebrow pencil.

I wish I could take my own advice....

Happy for you ☺️ it’s a lovely feeling.

What a weird unbalanced post. You can eat perfectly healthy on WLI, and if you eat like a person suffering with anorexia, then your dose is too high.

Ah, I see. Hopefully you'll be able to give them a try when the price comes down, if thats something you would like.

Meanwhile, flaunt your paleness and be happy!

I won't comment further on WLI since they are not an option for you but the anorexia post above is total bollocks.

That aside, I echo the pp who said appreciate your amazing, healthy, working body. Do the small things like drinking lots of water, using moisturizer, dressing for your weight and colouring and own preference, not fashion. If you can, accumulate a large and varied collection of costume jewellery (Accessorise type thing). A tinted moisturizer and lip balm does me most days (I'm 49 so not youthfully dewey or anything). The biggest factor is how you feel about yourself, not what foundation you have on or the label size.