To break up with my ex over anger issues and throwing things?

[WalkedAtTheWarning]

My ex got extremely angry when his car broke down and he had to get a new one - to the point where he smashed his phone in rage. That was a massive red flag for me. I calmly said he might need anger management and his response was “stop telling me that.”

Right there and then, I realised I couldn’t see a future with someone who flies off the handle and refuses to get help. So I texted him “we’re done” and blocked him on everything.

I genuinely think anger issues are a dealbreaker, especially when someone shows zero willingness to work on it. It might’ve been a phone this time but what next? If this is how he handles stress now, what would happen when life throws bigger challenges? If we lived together? Had kids?

I’m only a year in and I’m glad I saw this now. I want a calm, grounded partner - not someone who acts like a toddler having a tantrum. I’m choosing myself and the peaceful life I want.

AIBU to think walking away now was the only sane option?

YANBU at all. Good on you for valuing yourself!

Yes I completely agree with you, you've taken the only sensible choice.

However I would also say you can walk for any reason you like - you don't have to justify yourself to him or anyone else.

You did 100% the right thing.

Good boundaries there, OP

Absolutely 100% the right thing. Never doubt it.

You saw a red flag, trusted your gut, and removed yourself before things escalated. That’s not “unreasonable” — that’s smart.

A grown man smashing his own phone in rage over a car breakdown isn’t just “having a bad day” — it’s showing you exactly how he handles frustration. And when you calmly suggested he might need help managing his anger, his response wasn’t reflection, it was defensiveness. That matters.

You’re absolutely right: if it’s a phone today, what’s next tomorrow? A wall? A door? You? People with uncontrolled anger often escalate over time, especially if they refuse to acknowledge the issue. You gave him a moment to reflect — and he rejected it. That alone speaks volumes.

Some people will say “it was just one outburst” — but one violent reaction can define everything. You don’t need to wait around to collect more “proof” that this behavior is a pattern. One moment like that is enough to break trust and safety, and you're under no obligation to stick around and see how bad it gets.

You’re not being dramatic. You’re protecting your peace. And you should be proud of yourself for drawing a firm boundary and walking away with clarity.

You were absolutely right! This kind of man starts with hitting or throwing an inanimate object but progresses to anyone who is there - quite likely you or your child if you’d gone on to have one.
Give yourself a pat on the back and enjoy peace and quiet.

#greatboundries

He needs to fix himself ; not your job.

Good choice. But if he’s smashed his phone and then you text him to say it’s over, surely he’s got to wait until the phone is fixed to see that? Does he even know?

Wow. What a refreshing change. Well done.