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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do I relearn to let go?

2 replies

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 05/08/2025 08:20

DD is 13 and going into y9. Since y6 we’ve been working on her being more independent, going out by herself etc. It was hard at first (for me ), but we got there and I’m mostly unbothered now. She goes out by herself, went into town, several school trips (including out of the country), away with friend (and her parents) etc. I still worry and my brain loves to put up worst case scenarios (possibly because I have a traumatic past) , but I always thought my anxiety is not her burden to carry and it shouldn’t be limiting her life/experiences.

However , we had a really scary episode Friday. She fainted , out of nowhere and then had a short seizure. A&E said it was one of those things, that her obs are fine, she is fine , but if it happened once it might happen again and that if it does, unless she doesn’t come to or it’s a long one I don’t have to being her back in. She seems fine. She is fine. But I am now terrified and my brain is now just on repeat with “the thing that doesn’t happen , has happened.” .Friday night I kept waking every two hours to check she’s still breathing.She’s supposed to go out today with friends and I don’t want her out of my sight and she hasn’t really been since Friday.

I know it’s ridiculous and I AM unreasonable, but I honestly can’t stop and I know we have to get back to normal for both our sakes. I just don’t know how.

OP posts:
Agix · 05/08/2025 08:29

Fake it til you make it.

Just because you're anxious doesn't mean you have to act on it.

You might not be able to control how you feel, but you can continue controlling your actions so it doesn't impact your daughter.

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 05/08/2025 09:27

Agix · 05/08/2025 08:29

Fake it til you make it.

Just because you're anxious doesn't mean you have to act on it.

You might not be able to control how you feel, but you can continue controlling your actions so it doesn't impact your daughter.

The thing is, what if it happens again when she is out with her friends? The doctor said it’s a possibility. That’s the main thing I’m struggling with at the moment. She went down right in front of me and it was terrifying seeing her like that.I think time will definitely help, as it passes and nothing happens but I am really struggling right now. She doesn’t know how scared I was and still am, and hiding it is exhausting.

OP posts:
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