3 children ?

[Soontobemumof2kids]

I have always wanted 3 children but my husband does not.

We have two children - 3 years and 8 months old. I would love to have another within the next 2 years but am yet to convince my husband. I love motherhood and feel like I am not finished having children.

Although we could afford it, my husband doesn’t want to as our lifestyle would likely change I.e bigger house at some point in the future, bigger car, less holidays etc as less disposable income, grandparents less likely to babysit for 3. He feels we should give the two we have more instead of giving them another sibling. I feel like there will always be someone missing in our family if we don’t have another.

If we don’t have another will this feeling ever go away?

AIBU to want 3 children?

This is a v common dilemma so I'd look at one of the numerous threads on pros and cons. I do think that both of you have to be on board!

Most Mums of 2 I know would quite like 3 (myself included) but practicalities or their partner not being up for it have won out!

YANBU but he has a point. Package holidays, hotel stays and car seats in cars all become a bit more awkward with three. Depends on your priorities. My third was worth a few minor inconveniences and a bit more expense!

YANBU to want three children, but he is also not being unreasonable to want to stop at two. His concerns and opinions are valid.

IME your feeling will go away eventually. I have three children but I wanted four and DH wouldn't agree. Now I have three teens and I'm very relieved we stopped at three!

YANBU to want 3 children; he’s definitely not being unreasonable to stick with 2. It’s not fair to keep badgering someone into changing their mind about having a child.

I think it’s fair enough he want’s 2 only, as it’s practical for many reasons. Do you have 2 of one gender? I’d personally stick to 2.

You not unreasonable at all. When my second was around 3 I wanted another and my husband was supportive, however he’s one of three and said one sibling will always be left out even more so since our boys are only 1yr apart. Seems quite clinical but I made a list of pros and cons and in the end decided against it mainly for practicality reasons.

Well of course you’re both right. Personally I think two is enough (although I have three because twins).
Yours are so little. Enjoy them and don’t forget they’re little for such a short time. Many things get harder when they’re older.

You are not unreasonable to want three, you would be unreasonable if you forged ahead with no thoughts about your husbands wants.

in reality there is a huge difference from three to two. You are now outnumbered, everything will be much more expensive as you will need bigger cars, family tickets will stop covering you, when getting taxis you can’t just hop into a standard one etc.

YANBU. But neither is your husband

This is one of those things in life you cant compromise on. One of you wont get it how you want.

For me that meant I didnt get 1 more as I feel children should be wanted by both parents (here assuming stable family planning for a child I know life sometimes changes)

Yanbu but yabu to expect your husband to give in to your demands for 3.

Thanks for the responses - I was just looking for some other views on it.

We have one of each gender so it’s not the case of wanting a certain gender. More just a feeling that I’m not “finished” having children.

My husband has agreed to just put away the baby stuff in the attic when we’re finished with it again this time rather than sell or give away so it’s not completely off the table but more a conversation for a later date!

I started out wanting only 2 , dh wanted 3 - third was a big surprise as I was on bc. I didn't like an odd number so we now have 4 🤣 I think the woman should have more say as it's your body and you having to labour and usually doing more of the groundwork. That's my personal opinion though and I'm sure I'll be ripped apart for it!!