AIBU to avoid my in-laws when it comes to my baby?
My DS is 7 months old and is the first grandchild in the family. While I get on really well with my MIL (honestly, she’s more like a mum to me), I’m really struggling with my FIL and SIL.
FIL is incredibly overbearing. I know he means well and it’s all coming from a place of excitement and love, but I absolutely hate being around him when he has my baby. Things came to a head early on when DS was just 4 weeks old—FIL took him out for a “10-minute stroll” that turned into a 2-hour walk, without my permission. I was beside myself.
Since then there have been more incidents:
- He refused to give DS back when he cried.
- At a wedding recently, he was holding DS while trying to sit on a park bench, slipped, and bashed DS’s leg on a table.
- Keeps wandering off with him in the garden, fed him an unwashed blackberry from his bush (??).
- When DS was tiny, he'd take him straight out of my arms and say things like, “It’s my wife’s turn now.”
As for my SIL, she seems to have an intense fixation on DS. At that same wedding, she followed me around the whole time while holding him. Then messaged me afterwards saying,
“I’ll come over this date so you can do wedding jobs and we’ll watch the baby.” — Like I asked her to?! On top of that, she smells
really strongly of BO and DS comes back smelling of her every time. She and her fiancé are very rough with him too—shaking him and trying to “bounce” him even when he’s clearly distressed.
I’m a people pleaser and was raised to just smile and keep the peace, but I’m so uncomfortable with all this. Am I being unreasonable or overprotective to want to limit their time with DS? I feel like I’m constantly on edge around them, but they keep pushing to spend time with him and I don’t know how to say no without causing drama. My husband does communicate with them, but his dad doesn't listen and just continues to ignore my husband, as well as me.
Any advice? Be honest with me.