To not want to see my boyfriend if his plans fall through?

[Anotherusername156]

Sometimes my boyfriend arranges things with his friends and if it falls through or they cancel, then he will ask me what I'm doing and if I want to meet up. It does make me feel a bit like a Plan B on that particular day, which I don't really like.
AIBU to choose not to see him when this happens?

How often does he do this? That’s the crux of it for me.
Of course it makes sense to want to see you, but not if you’re the back-up every single time!
How regularly is he making you the priority?

He's done it 3 times now and each time I've just made an excuse and said I can't or I'm doing something. Other than that we do see each other regularly, it's just I don't like being the consolation prize if his plans fall through.

Does he schedule other things with you independently of this, though? Because I like that his first thought is you when his other plans fall through (asssuming he's also good at making plans with you outside of this).

I don't understand why some people are so adversarial over nothing.

He sees you regularly.You have your time together.You have your date nights.

If his plans fall through, then he thinks I d like to see my girlfriend.Seeing as i'm free now.

He's done it three times not thirty. You're hardly a backup plan if he sees you regularly.

With these things, I think don't turn it into game playing or spite. If your free when his plans fall through and you want to go, then go.If you don't or you have other plans then don't.

But just don't turn it into something spiteful to get back at him, when actually he hasn'done anything wrong.

Honestly? This feels like creating an issue out of nothing.

If his plans fell through and he didn’t contact you, I expect that would also be an issue because it shows he’d rather do nothing than see you.

As long as you aren’t the back plan on every occasion, I don’t understand the problem.

It really depends if you've been together 7 days or 7 years

I honestly can’t see the issue. It’s healthy for partners to have their own group of friends. If my BFs plans fell through and he still fancied going out then as long as I genuinely couldn’t see him, I would always meet up and actually like that I’m always his ‘go-to’!

If I always had scheduled time then I'd be happy if we both ended up with some extra time together. If he was using these as chances to free up other time later in the week I wouldn't stand for it

So if youre going all nose off to spite the face to specifically tell him no, im not being a last resort - then thats a bit shit if hes just kinda "ah what you up to tonight, fancy sitting in together vs alone" - fair enough if you have plans, even washing hair or a bath, thats a plan, a film and pig out is a plan, but if youre just huffing and No....

its just a bit petty. My husband is my favourite human and if either our plans fall through I'm happy to spend extra time with him. If youre all huffy about it, is it really that good a relationship?

3 times over how long though?
If he regularly sees you independently from his friends, then there’s really not a problem.
If he consistently saw you only when other plans fell through, that would obviously be an issue.

I think you're being petty. If you'd like to spend time with him and you both have free time why not? If he never spends any time with you and only treats you as a backup that's different, bit doesn't sound like that's the case here.