I’m an employer, I wouldn’t hesitate to hire OP with no reference in a situation like this, but like it or not, as women we do have to consider the personal consequences of taking action like this. The industry I work in is one of the largest in the U.K., but it is also impossible to bring an employer to tribunal without becoming known in the industry locally and finding the closed ranks go further than one company.
The last but one job I had was going to be a real opportunity for me to move up in my career, but after a while I just couldn’t stay any longer. The managing director was a bully, he treated staff appallingly, me included. I defended my team when he was having a go at them and spoke with his son (who was second in command with me) who appeared to be on my side (yeah, I know, I’m an idiot) and said I should speak with his dad about it. He “took my comments on board”, then ramped up his bullying. We had several staff leave and I did their exit interviews, all of them cited his behaviour as the reason. I filed these, as he had asked me to do, but a week later he called me in “for a chat” and had his side piece PA there “just for the record” and proceeded to tell me that all the staff had told him I was the bully, I was the reason they left, didn’t know how to do my job etc etc, and this was grounds for dismissal. Fair doos, I said, I’ll leave now, you can pay me my notice. I had very strong grounds for a tribunal, he knew that so be drew up his version of a mutual NDA where we both promised to never speak of any of it to anyone again and he paid me an extra month if I signed it. I was happy with that, it gave me a buffer to find a new job.
I went back to the agent who had placed me in the job and told him to find me another. The interviews came in thick and fast, verbal job offers made almost immediately but one by one, they all withdrew. When I spoke with the agent to find out what was going on, this guy had been bad mouthing me to his golfing buddies, the MDs of other companies. They had fed back to their directors who interviewed me and the jobs were gone. It really made it hard for me to get a job. In the end, I got a way better job than any of those had been, with a multi-national company who didn’t know this guy. My gloves came off and I was able to then trash this guy right back, which I did. I poached his staff and 3 of his clients, that meant more to me (and probably to him) than a protracted tribunal and any award that would have come from it.
I think it’s important that women stand up for themselves in these situations, these guys should not get away with what they do, and I’d love it if every single one of them was made to pay for what they did. Unfortunately, the way the world works is, it can be us who comes off worst for that. It is all too easy for these guys to spin a line that we are trouble. OP should do exactly what you said, and take legal advice, find out what her options are, but should also consider what the unintended consequences might be.