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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To quit and become a lady of leisure?

29 replies

MrTiddlesTheCat · 04/08/2025 11:28

I've been signed off sick since April and have another 3 weeks to go. I don't want to go back. I just want to stay home, potter about in my garden and recharge my batteries. I'm just done with adulting. DH earns enough to cover the bills. My part-time income covers treats. I don't care about treats anymore. I just want quiet solitude, where DH is at work, DS is at school, and I get to do nothing, all by myself.

The background, I was signed off in April following my breast cancer diagnosis. I've just finished radiotherapy and have 5 years of hormone therapy to get through. I just want to rest.

AIBU to take 6 months of unpaid leave while I contemplate where I go from here?

OP posts:
MsAnnFrope · 04/08/2025 12:24

YADNBU a serious illness changes your perspective on all manner of things, don’t underestimate the emotional as well as physical impact.
does your employer offer career breaks? If you did want to go back to working in a few years could you get back into the industry?
it sounds like you need some breathing space to process who you are now, not MrTiddles with cancer, just MrTiddles and what you need /want for you and your family.
Sending an unmumsnetty hug - your post touched my heart.

rainbowruthie · 04/08/2025 13:52

MrTiddlesTheCat · 04/08/2025 12:03

Thank you everyone. I know DH will fully support me whatever I decide. He's said as much many times.

I think my issue is as a PP said, psychologically I haven't recovered. I could easily get signed off sick again and I would get paid. But I don't want to be signed off sick. And Im crying and can't quite put into words why. I don't want to be the person who's off sick because of cancer. I want to be free from the label and pressure. I just want to be me. I know, it makes no sense to me either.

It makes perfect sense to me - take care x

Octavia64 · 04/08/2025 13:54

Do what you need to do for you right now.

it’s a long road.

HappilyUrbanTrimmer · 04/08/2025 13:58

Yanbu. Having cancer treatment and recovering afterwards is a full time job and you don't bounce back to how you were before after treatment is successful. If you can stop workand be financially stable that's fine - but check on HMRC website for your pension status. You may still need a few more years of NI contributions before you qualify for the full pension so consider whether it's worth your while doing that (you may find that it's easier to make modest voluntary contributions from DH's income rather than returning to work to get employer contributions.

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