To call acquaintance out for lying about background?

[Tarakano]

I have an acquaintance/friend who it turns out, has been lying about their background. This wouldn’t matter but for the fact this friend consistently looks down their nose at others, even me, for coming from a regular background.

Friend had told me they grew up in rural Sussex “a the family home” and attended a local private day school because her father couldn’t stand him boarding (like he had done).

I found out, through a chance encounter with someone who went to her school, that actually she grew up in outer London/Essex - near Woodford. She also went to the bog standard local comprehensive school. Her parents only moved to Sussex when she went to uni, and live in a new build bungalow (so not “family home” in the sense they wanted me to see).

AIBU to tell friend I met their old school mate and we realised we both knew you?

Ok and? So what

I seriously couldn't get worked up about it, but if you're so bothered then let her know you have a mutual acquaintance who went to school with her, but i wouldnt do it publically.

If you don’t like her, don’t see her again. It’s daft to let someone keep winding you up. Just cut her out if she gets to you.

I might have some fun with it. Id tell her I bumped into mutal acquaintance without letting on i knew they went to school with her. Watch her squirm

Then next time I saw her, id be asking about the family home, eek wouldnt it be lovely if you both had a little day out there for summer. She could show you the manor...

I’d say you missed it 😉

It's being bothered about catching someone lying and faking

I'd be very careful brining it up. If you know them through work and they didn't go to the school they're claiming they mayve lied on their CV which could open a whole can of worms.

I dont get your issue with the family home comment. Surely this doesn't imply size or anything, just the place a family usually congregates at.

People move around. This mutual acquaintance knew them for part of their education (the local comprehensive), doesn't mean the person on question didn't live in Sussex at all growing up. Just because they went to the local comp, it doesn't mean they didn't have any experience of private education.

I would let it go. Like PPs said, it might be that she has had some trauma and is re-creating herself into a preferred version. (Or she might just be a liar). Either way- you know that her word is bollocks and that is good information to keep in mind particularly if you work together.

Calling her out probably won't end well for you. You will just look bitter or vengeful. Or, as she is already a proven liar, she could have even worse abilities within her- and you might be the target.

I understand the temptation though. I know someone who has made some very flamboyant claims about his military service, and is actually a bit of an arsehole. He does not know that DH is good friends with someone who served with him and who has a fair bit to say about his claims. DH is keeping that close to his chest though because there is no benefit to calling him out and you never know how dangerous or vengeful someone who has a loose relation with the truth is.

I have an acquaintance who is absolutely convinced I’m lying about a boarding school I attended. He has gone so far as buying me an item to mark an event at the school .
I don’t particularly like or respect him enough to explain that the reason I’m sketchy about it is that it was brokered with social services as an alternative to foster care .
None of his beeswax but I quite enjoy his barely concealed anger when he brings it up …again ! Dick 😂

How immature and insecure they must be to feel the need to embellish things like this. They must be very classist/ snobby and be ashamed of their background.

It's a shame but I'm not sure if I'd push it. If I thought it would really humiliate and upset them I'd leave it.

Something bad could've happened there that makes her wish it never happened?