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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To throw away cards and letters received over the years

52 replies

Finemjen · 04/08/2025 03:55

having a sort out and came across boxes and boxes of birthday cards, Xmas cards, celebration cards for life milestones, letters received from family and friends over the years. I’ve loved looking through some of them and reading the messages (nostalgia from a pre-email /text life!) but considering throwing them away as I need the space and not sure when I’d next look at them, if at all and they’re just collecting dust. Anyone else been in this situation - I am sentimental and do like a memento but would it be unreasonable to throw them away? Maybe keep a few, but throw the rest? If anyone has kept their cards is there a way to keep them that’s better than stuffed in a box (googled but nothing came up!)

OP posts:
Lurkingandlearning · 04/08/2025 04:05

I would scan the letters. Maybe you won’t read them again but they’ll be taking up no space should you ever want to

MayaPinion · 04/08/2025 04:09

Yes of course you should get rid of them. Maybe keep a few of the precious ones but the rest can be recycled. I always get rid of any I receive when I take them off the mantelpiece at the end of the celebration.

Empress13 · 04/08/2025 04:11

I have thrown out old letters and cards unless really important to me. Less for family to have to get rid of when I die tbh

clickyteeclick · 04/08/2025 04:14

I got rid of some precious letters I’d kept since I was 11 and have regretted it ever since!

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 04/08/2025 04:20

I try to go through my sentimental boxes every year or two to thin down what I have rather than throw away in bulk. Think about what is precious now and how precious it might be if the person wasn't around. Get rid of cards from more distant family or friends / neighbours etc or where you have more than one card saying exactly the same thing. This helps keep on top of things without being too hasty over decisions you could regret later. It also means you regularly revisit the happy memories rather than just packing away and forgetting them.

Isitreallysohard · 04/08/2025 04:21

If you really need the space, then keep a few and throw the rest (personally I'd keep them!)

ByOpenBlueGuide · 04/08/2025 04:28

I am in exactly the same position I have 4 big containers of pics/letters.etc.i need the space but can't bring myself to get rid

NidaNearby · 04/08/2025 04:41

I don’t place much sentimental value on a birthday card along the lines of, ‘Dear X, Happy Birthday, Love Y xxx’

I’d only keep particularly special ones - from particularly close relatives and with a personal message.

CarolineKnappShappeyShipwright · 04/08/2025 04:58

I did this a few years ago. I too am quite sentimental but I had so many. I was moving house and they had sat in the attic for the 15 years I'd lived there and were simply being moved to sit in another attic. I had letters from friends, ex boyfriends etc as I'm old enough for that to be a thing.

I too found it nostalgic to read through them but I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to read them so binned them all. If nothing else can you keep just a few and bin the rest?

echt · 04/08/2025 05:12

I cut up the prettiest Christmas cards from dear friends to make bookmarks. It's lovely to turn one over and see the handwriting of a loved person.

Michele09 · 04/08/2025 05:12

Keep the most precious and then scan or photograph the best of the rest before throwing them away.

Gowlett · 04/08/2025 05:32

I kind of want to have a big clearout of this sort of thing before I turn 50. Think I’ll keep the letters. But I’ve loads of mementos, cards, old work things, things from times-gone-by…

Notsurewheretostarthere · 04/08/2025 05:56

Last month, I chucked all the new baby cards, all our wedding cards and anything else that was in the box.

My children have no interest in them, I've no idea why I've kept it all for 17yrs!

Working out what to do with my wedding dress now! I also threw out any photo that wasn't to do with my husband and children. So all my teen photos and old boyfriend stuff.

HoskinsChoice · 04/08/2025 06:30

I regret throwing letters away. I had loads, mostly from when I was away at uni, from my parents in particular. As they're no longer with us, I'd love to have those letters back as they're so personal.

Can't see any point in keeping cards though.

LillyPJ · 04/08/2025 06:45

Just chuck them.Youll rarely miss them and they take up space.

OwlsR · 04/08/2025 06:55

Do you have family who may be interested in the future?

I hope no one faces this but I have heard that mementos, letters including physical things like cards give comfort to some (not all) people with dementia. They may remember childhood of being young. Maybe online isn’t quite the same, but we do live digital lives now.

RitaAndFrank · 04/08/2025 07:01

Christmas and non milestone birthday, yes, but letters… no! They’re a relic from the past already, as no one writes them these days. I have a chest filled with old letters and I love to grab a handful and read through them from time to time. My mum was given a bundle of letters that my grandma received from her and my siblings (old thank you letters etc) and it was wonderful to read through them! There was even a letter between my dad’s mum (Granny) and her: After all these years there’s no way I could bin them. And I’m massively hot on de-cluttering (and somewhat renowned for it 🤣)

FlipSnip · 04/08/2025 07:02

I usually throw cards away a few days after the event, unless there's a really nice message in them.

YeOldy · 04/08/2025 07:05

I chuck all that stuff out and never regretted it.

user1471538283 · 04/08/2025 07:11

Yes throw them out! I've kept some important cards from people I love and some letters. I've kept my DSs cards although I doubt he'll want them in the future.

My DGM kept letters from my DGF which were lovely to read. I love letters though and I miss having them.

I'm terrible for photos though and eventually they are all going into albums.

We cannot keep everything.

Ohthatsmeback · 04/08/2025 07:13

I hung on to letters and cards from family members and some friends for years and years.
But the truth was that when I looked at some of them they actually made me sad and upset and resurrected old memories.
So I threw away all but the letters and cards from my dead H and the cards from my son - he's never written me a letter!
Tbh though I can't look at the ones from my H because they are too painful . But I couldn't bring myself to throw them out.

SharonEllis · 04/08/2025 07:16

Keep letters. I would give anything to be able to read letters that my mum chucked out as my memory is getting really rubbish.

Onelifeonly · 04/08/2025 07:19

I'm sentimental but if you keep everything it gets more and more overwhelming as you get older! However, I never keep Christmas cards anymore unless they have a proper newsy message inside (few and far between these days). I cut up some old ones to use as gift tags.

I only keep birthday / mothers day cards from my children - they are usually well chosen - touching or funny, and my youngest writes long messages of appreciation inside.

Last year I went through things like that, including funeral orders of service etc and sorted those I wanted to keep into plastic folders. They all fit into two drawers of my desk (old fashioned thing I've had since childhood.)

As for letters from the days of yore. I had hundreds, never re read or sorted except by sender. I culled them when we moved house 15 years ago, but haven't looked at those remaining them since. Also have teenage diaries I can't bring myself (yet) to read (too cringey) or chuck.

I'm lucky that space isn't an issue but I do try to get rid of stuff I don't need - I tend to keep things 'just in case' but love to actually get rid of them too.

Redburnett · 04/08/2025 07:22

I found many boxes of this sort of thing when clearing my parents' house. I spread them out on a table and take a photograph of all, first the picture side, then the inside inscriptions. It means you have a record of them without the clutter.

BobnLen · 04/08/2025 07:24

I have, just need to go through all the old photos now, though I bought a photo album from Wilko for this task and haven't started it yet. Wilko must have closed at least two years ago