Trigger warning - sexual abuse?

[tryingtomakesenseof]

I must’ve been 6/7 years old and staying over at a friend’s house - she was more like family and still is. I recall her (18 months older than me) telling me something along the lines of “adults do this”, and to undress our bottom halves and grind. The details are a bit hazy now so I can’t remember but there may have been upper half undressing and “kissing”. A few years ago, I had a clearer memory about it and was even going to mention it to her as in “how silly were we!” but I didn’t.

it just occurred to me, literally 5 mins ago, has this impacted me subconsciously way more than I thought it has? I’ve always been a massive empath for sexual assaults and I would describe myself as having a very high sex drive.

Please be kind, I know there’s way worse situations, however I’m feeling quite fragile about this right this very moment.

Yep definitely abuse. I think it's called COCSA as you were both children. Happened to me when I was younger as well. At the time I didn't think it was a big deal but over the years realised it's not okay...
Could have definitely impacted you subconsciously.
Also I think most of the time it's either from what they have seen or experienced themselves

It will have left a mark. It isn't unusual for DC to act like adult's when unsupervised for long periods. I'm conscious of my wording here.
Talk to a professional. 💐

Definitely abuse but your friend probably didn’t realise she was being abusive. It sounds like she may have been abused herself either physically or by exposure to adults having sex at too young of an age and was emulating what she had seen or had done to her?

If it’s bothering you a lot and you’re as close as you say you are, I’d maybe broach it gently. Maybe don’t ask her if she specifically remembers the grinding/kissing incident - at least not straight away, and be careful not to resurface any trauma for her if you can see she wouldn’t want to talk about it, but maybe try asking her about her childhood in general and see if she says anything suggestive of that, then you can maybe take it from there.

It’s a difficult one as it’s obviously traumatic for you and might well be a difficult topic for her. If you don’t feel comfortable asking her or she doesn’t want to talk about it, you should talk it out with someone at least to allow you to process what happened.

Thanks all - really appreciate it. I don’t think I’ll bring it up with her to be honest. But I may try to process it in other ways. Thanks again.

You were kids. No way did your friend recognise it as abuse at the time.