Concerned about my friend and his online relationship

[Whitemochaonice]

I’m honestly feeling really worried about a friend of mine and could use some outside perspective. He’s been talking to someone online for a few months now, they’ve never actually met in person and he’s already planning to move away to live with her (she lives 2 hours away).

What’s really concerning is that she has a young son, and my friend obviously hasn’t met him yet either. I completely understand that online relationships can be meaningful, and I’m not trying to judge him, he has been suffering with depression for some time and he also has autism. He’s recently estranged from his family and has stopped taking his medication.
This all feels too fast, especially considering the child involved.

I care about my friend and want him to be happy, but I also want him to be safe and stay realistic. I feel like this is hugely impulsive, considering his mental health background.

Am I overthinking it? Or is this something worth having a serious conversation about with him? I have tried already a few times and he’s adamant he’s leaving, despite never having met the woman.

I don’t think you are over thinking. It’s reckless to give up his home when he hasn’t met her and doesn’t know the area he is moving to. What sort of woman moves a man she has never met, in with her child? Or even with her if she didn’t have a child.

I would be very worried about him and feel helpless because he clearly isn’t going to see sense. And now you’re in the position of having to say nothing for fear of him cutting you off when he is almost certainly going to need your help in the near future.

I hope he will be ok, but I doubt it. If the person isn’t actually a cat fish, she definitely knows he is vulnerable. If she doesn’t know about his health history and that he’s stopped his meds, she knows he has poor judgment.

He’s clearly moving too quickly. But when you know you know. You could be talking about my friends here (although it happened to them 4 years ago so different people same situation!) they messaged and zoomed a lot, had a couple of meetings, and then got married. We were all horrified, but actually they are really happy

He'd be an absolute muppet to uproot himself entirely without having even met her ONCE!!

Plus - what kind of dreadful parent is she? She's putting her child at risk! YOU may know he's OK but she sure as hell doesn't.