To think it is time to end things?

[DodotheDodo]

My partner is my best friend. We are very different but enjoy many of the same activities and outwardly appear a perfect couple. We have been together just over 10 years (just turned 40s), live in a nice house in a very nice area, have a dog etc.
But he has no interest in me physically. No kissing, no touching, no intimacy. It has been this way for most of our relationship. I don't think I'm unattractive - other men do chat me up at times - but it is either that he doesn't fancy me, or he has other interests.

I feel like I deserve more, and my self esteem is rock bottom (for example, a recent job interview where the feedback was that I focused on my negative). I'm scared to lose my best friend, and our comfortable life for what could be a silly mid life crisis whim. I'm most scared to hurt him.

AIBU - some relationships just aren't passionate
AINBU - everyone deserves to feel pretty

Have you told him how you feel? How did he respond?

It’s not about whether relationships are not passionate or whether you deserve to feel pretty.

The question is, are you happy with this situation? Do you see yourself continuing this relationship for the next say 40 years? How does that thought make you feel?

What are the positives that keep you there? Having him as a friend? You can still be friends because you are not much more than that already. Living in a nice area? Dog?

Have you sooken to him about how you feel?

Do you think he's gay OP if he is then you aren't ever going to be his cup of tea and you may want to consider moving on if platonic friendship isn't enough. If it's just that your relationship is stale that's different, but you need to talk it through with him.

Your feelings are valid. Also if you split you may be able to remain as friends, it is possible! Relationships evolve. Talk to him though