Refusing to do me a favour

[Isthisnormalbehavuohr]

Have a complicated relationship with my sibling. We see each other a lot but there’s a real attitude there of, I won’t help you out if you need me.

I recently asked to borrow their phone charger when we were staying in the same place (I didn’t have mine) and they said no. Fast forward, a few days ago, they asked me. It pained me to say it but no. I just don’t get why you would go through life being this hostile to people? I would never do that and I know for a fact they would lend it to everyone else, just not me.

there is no backstory. We have similar financial situations, I don’t steal from them (!), I don’t break things…

Today they wanted to buy a big issue and I only had my credit card on me. We were going to dinner. I suggested they pay £10 instead of £5 and take a fiver out for me. I could either transfer it back on the spot via internet banking or we could deduct it from the dinner bill. They said no and that they were annoyed with me for not bringing out a debit card (why? I rarely use or need cash) and then condescendingly added that the big issue wasn’t a charity and I should by my own copy. I mentioned again that I just wanted the guy to get £10 and again they said no.

AIBU to be completely confused and annoyed by this behaviour? It has really taken the wind out of my sails and feels very hostile.

Sounds like my wicked sister who would borrow my clothes without asking but freak out if I so much as looked at hers.

They said no and that they were annoyed with me for not bringing out a debit card

Hang on. They wanted to buy it. Why do they expect YOU to pay for it?

Fuck that.

You both sound vile!
One of you needs to break this toxic cycle, or just stop seeing each other.

Stop spending time with this person.
Life is too short.

I get what you are trying to do by mirroring their shitty behaviour back but you've been doing it for a while and clearly it doesnt work.

insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.

They sound like they have some kind of a mental disorder tbh.

Life is too short for this misery and weirdness. I would spend a lot less time with them and if they ask you why tell them.

If iyou know they're always going to say no why do you you continue to ask? ie you have no money on you - don't bother asking them to get you an ice cream You have no cash on you ,you don't bother asking them to put an extra fiver in to give to the guy from the big issue. When they ask you in return and you say no be,cause you didn't lend it to me give me the phone charger or buy me an ice cream what do they say to that?
I couldn't be bothered spending time with somebody who is awkward all the time But no what I want to spend time with somebody who's constantly asking me for things. You don't sound like you get on that well so why spend so much time together?
how old are you both?

Whoa. I don’t understand the pettiness on both your sides. Seems like a lot of unresolved issues from childhood.

Oh my God you've just described my siblings. I'm no contact with them now. They are so toxic, and never want to help anyone. I ended up feeling used and abused, as they wouldn't ever return favours. Then I started doing the same thing back but it never ever made me feel better. If anything it made me feel worse and dreaded spending time together. I no longer see them. I do not miss their strange and miserly ways.

Have you asked them why?

Just curious why you spend so much time with this sibling when it seems neither of you are getting much benefit from it. It seems like some weird co- dependency from where I’m standing.

Honestly, you both sound incredibly childish. I bet one of you was your parents favourite child. Honestly I would not be spending so much time together. Is your sibling younger? Rather than matching their behaviour I would be the bigger person and show how a normal person behaves.

Why on earth are you hanging out together when it's such endless aggro?

You both are puerile and need to stay away from each other.