Would you have left in these circumstances?

[Misophoniaistough]

You're early/mid 30s and been with your partner for a few years, living together for most of them.

You ask them if youre the one for them (in a heated discussion) and they say 'erm..I think so?'
They admit they haven't really thought about marriage and then say theyre scared of responsibility and being tied down to one person.
When you explain that because of approaching mid 30s there is a bit more of an urgency to have kids and they say 'You're putting a lot of pressure on me' to you, then go out with their mates 4 nights in a row.

Then when you ask if they could still see themselves with you in a few years from now they can't answer and look hesitant..
They don't seem to be ending the relationship at all themselves, they are 3 years younger which plays a part but still have been living with you several years.

Then they admit they aren't fully happy with you because you aren't as good with money as them and you have been occasionally jealous.

I think staying would have made me a bit desperate? If it's been years and they don't even sound sure then they probably just like keeping you around as a flatmate?

flip the questions

what would your responses be?

I think it's probably a good time to bring the relationship to an end, for both parties, by the sound of it.

I would be gone from the "Erm...I think so" response.

Stop wasting your time OP, if you want children, your current partner is NOT the one!

He’s not the one. Better to move on now than wait.

Yes I'd have gone. But mid 30s, I suspect I'd have had the conversation and 'put pressure on' him a lot earlier than after living together a few years.

I'd probably have wanted to know where he saw the relationship going at the point of moving in together.

What does 'not as good with money and jealous' look like?

So they haven't considered living with you permanently, haven't considered children, haven't considered marriage and describe themselves as being scared of being tied to one person.

OP. stop wasting your time. You are a flat mate who pays half the bills and helpfully provides sex on tap. If you also do the cooking, cleaning, tidying etc, there is your answer.

Why would they end it? You are convenient and will do until someone better comes along.

Just separate now. This is not a relationship with a future.

Is he living in your place or is it shared?

They are just not that into you... youre the "you'll do" as opposed to the one, youre the "better than nothing" as opposed to butterflies and romance.

Ditch it, walk away, head held high.

Yes he obviously is not ready to commit otherwise he would know by now also some resentment about the money issues. Why do people move in together when they don’t want to commit to each other I know relationships might end after living together which is good before marriage but I don’t get it I always thought people move in together because you think it’s going somewhere.

What’s odd (aside from starting a thread and not bothering to come back) is that not once do you say how you feel about him