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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Volunteering with asylum seekers and refugees

420 replies

Lemniscate8 · 03/08/2025 10:09

There is so much said on MN about asylum seekers and refugees, and often it is speaking about them as a block, rather than by people who know any as individuals.

AIBU to suggest that some of you who currently feel fear and hostility have a go at some volunteering to get to know one or more individuals and see if your feelings change?

There are lots of ways to get involved in helping welcome a refugee to the country, and maybe more people extending more welcome will help with intergration, which seems to be one of the main concerns of some posters.

Many places have volunteers facilitating english conversation sessions, or literacy support. Many councils look for volunteers to support refugee and asylum seeker children in schools, you can ask your local council, or one of the main refugee organisations what volunteering opportunities are available in your area.

Also volunteering with any homeless charity is ineviatably going to bring you into contact with refugees, as so many are sleeping rough

You can find out about people first hand, rather than through the right wing press. Personal relationships can only help people understand each other better

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
EasternStandard · 03/08/2025 21:14

Noodledog · 03/08/2025 21:10

Women generally don't rape children, so I think people would probably be less upset.

We had many women and children in people’s homes from Ukraine, under a scheme. They were vetted (I recall usual outrage on here about it taking some time to do that).

skymagentatwo · 03/08/2025 21:17

Lemniscate8 · 03/08/2025 21:06

Its not facts pulled from nowhere, it is govenment statistics, 58% of adult asylum seekers are men.

I will explain again about the change in the system. As it stands, every country in the UN agrees to offer safety to genuine refugees, but that burden is very unevenly spread. Countries like Turkey and Lebanon take the vast majority, and each are supporting millions from neighbouring warzones, and neither country is rich, by any standard

The system for assessing asylum claims is also very hit and miss, with some countries being difficult to reach or having a very high bar.

The debate is about how to allocate refugees more fairly, which clearly has to be done. The idea is that anyone can make a claim for asylum from anywhere in the world, directly to the UN, who will process the claim and allocate the refugee to a country. Allocations that countries take will be based on size and wealth. We take so few right now, that when the new allocation system eventually goes online, our numbers will go up by likely more than one order of magnitude.

Well, this system has been in the pipeline for many years, and isn't agreed yet, but it will be, and no doubt many countries will argue and negotiate about what percentage of the worlds refugees they should take, but in the end, we will take our agreed allocation, (or leave the UN)

I hope I have explained that better. I tried to explain upthread, but I don't seem to have made it clear.

Yes your facts are pulled from nowhere lets break this down for you.

Here is your claim "Most do travel with their families, and the ones who don't it is often because the family is already dead. men are more likely to survive in natural or manmade disasters. Some do travel alone and leave their families behind, but it isn't the majority."

Prove it, where is your evidence to back this up links please? You claim most travel with families, we unless all their families are males of fighting age, then statistics prove you wrong so that's bollocks.

Here is your next claim "every country in the UN agrees to offer safety to genuine refugees, but that burden is very unevenly spread."

Define uneven spread and how do you define what the UK`s fair share is, the UKs landmass, infrastructure and supporting services are fininte for such a small country compare to all other UN nations. How do you define fare share? because a set percentage does not fit this model and is wholly wrong.

Here is your next claim "but in the end, we will take our agreed allocation, (or leave the UN)"

Who says this, we are perfectly within our rights to say no and not comply are they going to expel us from the UN for this. Again another lie.

Here is another claim "it is government statistics, 58% of adult asylum seekers are men"

Where is the link, proved a link to actual data from the government.

Itchybritches · 03/08/2025 21:22

From gov.uk:
In the year ending March 2025, approximately 70% of individuals claiming asylum in the UK were male. This includes both those aged 17 and under, and those aged 18 and over.

Specifically, data from the UK government shows that:

11%: of asylum seekers were male aged 17 and under.
59%: of asylum seekers were male aged 18 and over.
21%: of asylum seekers were female aged 18 and over.
8%: of asylum seekers were female aged 17 and under.

EasternStandard · 03/08/2025 21:24

Lemniscate8 · 03/08/2025 21:06

Its not facts pulled from nowhere, it is govenment statistics, 58% of adult asylum seekers are men.

I will explain again about the change in the system. As it stands, every country in the UN agrees to offer safety to genuine refugees, but that burden is very unevenly spread. Countries like Turkey and Lebanon take the vast majority, and each are supporting millions from neighbouring warzones, and neither country is rich, by any standard

The system for assessing asylum claims is also very hit and miss, with some countries being difficult to reach or having a very high bar.

The debate is about how to allocate refugees more fairly, which clearly has to be done. The idea is that anyone can make a claim for asylum from anywhere in the world, directly to the UN, who will process the claim and allocate the refugee to a country. Allocations that countries take will be based on size and wealth. We take so few right now, that when the new allocation system eventually goes online, our numbers will go up by likely more than one order of magnitude.

Well, this system has been in the pipeline for many years, and isn't agreed yet, but it will be, and no doubt many countries will argue and negotiate about what percentage of the worlds refugees they should take, but in the end, we will take our agreed allocation, (or leave the UN)

I hope I have explained that better. I tried to explain upthread, but I don't seem to have made it clear.

People do get a vote though. They can decide.

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · 03/08/2025 21:25

Well, I shouldn't reply to this if I care about what decent people think about me, and my stance is probably illegal too, so I might end up I'm prison, but here goes @Lemniscate8:

I generally hate what male Muslims stand for. I have met a few British ones, a dentist, and two doctors, and they were all lovely. But the vast majority of asylum seekers, who as far as I am aware are also illegal immigrants and mainly males, are men from nations who are taught, in various degrees - depending on the type of regime they were brought up in - that they are the superior species.

Woman often seem to be considered to be second or even third class citizens, and in the worst places they are not even allowed to be educated, and the female children are made to go through FGM, one of the worst assaults and tortures I have ever heard of 🤢🤬 Nearly all Muslim women have to keep their hair covered, and quite often, have to wear full face coverings. I'm sorry, but I just can't believe the women who say that they like wearing the head coverings, for several differing reasons. Far too many Muslim women's fathers and husbands, appear to love trying to keep them under control, they often don't let them learn the language of the country they have moved to, and don't let them work outside of their family's businesses. They all want to live in close proximity to each other, and want their children to be educated in schools staffed by, and attended by, other Muslims.

@Lemniscate8, these majority of Muslims do not want to integrate with the rest of us, but they do want to avail themselves of our health service, our education systems - with the proviso that the teachers are Muslims themselves and that they can teach to Muslim standards and beliefs. This is where I have to completely disagree with you OP, I don't want to integrate with Muslim men who think that I am a lesser person. But then, to be fair, I don't want to need to integrate with any more immigrants, from anywhere, unless they are the partner of a British citizen. We have a country the size of a postage stamp, and we will start sinking soon (or at least that is what it feels like!), we just cannot afford to make thousands upon thousands of more people feel welcome here, and if we don't want to lose our own identities completely, we cannot afford to keep on welcoming people from vastly different cultures to us.

Lemniscate8, you can be polite to them, you can help the women and children, and be kind to them, but please, I will actually beg you if I have to, stop trying to help them integrate with us. We just don't have the room, or the money, or the infrastructure, to accept any more people, even if we wanted to...

Lastly, I don't want our young teenage girls to be groomed, plied with drugs, terrified, and then gang raped, sometimes multiple times. Of course, all nationalities have monsters like that, but with many male Muslims apparent natural enjoyment of making women feel so scared and under the males authority, it does not surprise me that these days, these Muslim grooming and raping gangs, top the league in these hateful, horrendous, crimes.

NB: I hate Nigel Farage, I hate Trump, I hate Putin, I hate, hate, hate, Tommy Robinson. I do not get my knowledge from any one category of newspapers, but especially not the Daily Mail, or from any one TV news stations either.

Itchybritches · 03/08/2025 21:32

Sorry - I should add the link for the asylum stats https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/immigration-system-statistics-year-ending-march-2025/how-many-people-claim-asylum-in-the-uk

Also, just to clarify - the figure OP is quoting is likely just for adult men. Approximately 70% is the figure that includes all males, including under 17yrs.

How many people claim asylum in the UK?

https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/immigration-system-statistics-year-ending-march-2025/how-many-people-claim-asylum-in-the-uk

Jennps · 03/08/2025 21:32

Dontwasteyourbreath · 03/08/2025 21:01

No dear, you are simply ignorant and ill informed.

Oh look, here comes another one.

Noodledog · 03/08/2025 21:36

@PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting NB: I hate Nigel Farage, I hate Trump, I hate Putin, I hate, hate, hate, Tommy Robinson. I do not get my knowledge from any one category of newspapers, but especially not the Daily Mail, or from any one TV news stations either.

Same. My feelings about Afghan men are based on talking - and listening- to Afghan women and girls who are actually living in Afghanistan. The well meaning naivety of posters who think these men can all be integrated into the UK if we are all just nice enough would be hilarious if it wasn't so tragic.

Lemniscate8 · 03/08/2025 21:40

skymagentatwo · 03/08/2025 21:17

Yes your facts are pulled from nowhere lets break this down for you.

Here is your claim "Most do travel with their families, and the ones who don't it is often because the family is already dead. men are more likely to survive in natural or manmade disasters. Some do travel alone and leave their families behind, but it isn't the majority."

Prove it, where is your evidence to back this up links please? You claim most travel with families, we unless all their families are males of fighting age, then statistics prove you wrong so that's bollocks.

Here is your next claim "every country in the UN agrees to offer safety to genuine refugees, but that burden is very unevenly spread."

Define uneven spread and how do you define what the UK`s fair share is, the UKs landmass, infrastructure and supporting services are fininte for such a small country compare to all other UN nations. How do you define fare share? because a set percentage does not fit this model and is wholly wrong.

Here is your next claim "but in the end, we will take our agreed allocation, (or leave the UN)"

Who says this, we are perfectly within our rights to say no and not comply are they going to expel us from the UN for this. Again another lie.

Here is another claim "it is government statistics, 58% of adult asylum seekers are men"

Where is the link, proved a link to actual data from the government.

Edited
  1. 58% of adult refugees are male, government statistics, as I have already linked, futher back in the thread
  2. I dont really understand your point, One man of "fighting age" is going to have other relatives of "fighting age" why wouldn't he? How many men of fighting age are in the average household around you? fathers and sons, or brothers?
Here is the UN breakdown of refugee age and sex 3Well, for example, UK is 20x bigger and well over 100x richer than lebanon, yet lebanon has over one and a half million refugees, compared to the UK who currently has a total of around 300 000. Turkey has 3 million. We are not fullfilling our humanitarian obligations.
OP posts:
nearlylovemyusername · 03/08/2025 21:40

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/08/2025 20:07

Would you send a female family member or a male family member on a perilous journey?

I thought they aren't on a journey but fleeing the country where their life is in danger? Which means their families lives (women and children) are in danger too?

Ukrainian refugees where almost exclusively women and children? Men stayed there to fight?

Why these refugees aren't doing the same?

Lemniscate8 · 03/08/2025 21:41

I have said all of this repeatedly, I think if you want to see my answers to questions you can just look back in the thread, some of these I have answered 3 or 4 times

OP posts:
skymagentatwo · 03/08/2025 21:42

It often makes me wonder how many of these posters claiming to support asylum seekers and refugees are actually benefiting from them being sent and arriving here.

Families, wives, owners, partners, shareholders of accommodation that is rented out to the government.

Families, wives, owners, partners, shareholders of firms offering legal advice and dealing with legal issues that is rented out to the government.

Families, wives, owners, partners, shareholders of places taking kickbacks from them being sent in the first place.

Families, wives, owners, partners, shareholders of companies making a killing from taxes spent on their services and or products.

🤔

Somerford · 03/08/2025 21:43

Lemniscate8 · 03/08/2025 21:40

  1. 58% of adult refugees are male, government statistics, as I have already linked, futher back in the thread
  2. I dont really understand your point, One man of "fighting age" is going to have other relatives of "fighting age" why wouldn't he? How many men of fighting age are in the average household around you? fathers and sons, or brothers?
Here is the UN breakdown of refugee age and sex 3Well, for example, UK is 20x bigger and well over 100x richer than lebanon, yet lebanon has over one and a half million refugees, compared to the UK who currently has a total of around 300 000. Turkey has 3 million. We are not fullfilling our humanitarian obligations.

The electorate will decide what our obligations are.

skymagentatwo · 03/08/2025 21:44

Lemniscate8 · 03/08/2025 21:40

  1. 58% of adult refugees are male, government statistics, as I have already linked, futher back in the thread
  2. I dont really understand your point, One man of "fighting age" is going to have other relatives of "fighting age" why wouldn't he? How many men of fighting age are in the average household around you? fathers and sons, or brothers?
Here is the UN breakdown of refugee age and sex 3Well, for example, UK is 20x bigger and well over 100x richer than lebanon, yet lebanon has over one and a half million refugees, compared to the UK who currently has a total of around 300 000. Turkey has 3 million. We are not fullfilling our humanitarian obligations.

So you have not directly answered anything or provided any evidence to back it up, YET again just your say so?

This is exactly what i expected from you.

EasternStandard · 03/08/2025 21:56

Lemniscate8 · 03/08/2025 21:40

  1. 58% of adult refugees are male, government statistics, as I have already linked, futher back in the thread
  2. I dont really understand your point, One man of "fighting age" is going to have other relatives of "fighting age" why wouldn't he? How many men of fighting age are in the average household around you? fathers and sons, or brothers?
Here is the UN breakdown of refugee age and sex 3Well, for example, UK is 20x bigger and well over 100x richer than lebanon, yet lebanon has over one and a half million refugees, compared to the UK who currently has a total of around 300 000. Turkey has 3 million. We are not fullfilling our humanitarian obligations.

Are you proposing we take 3 million? Or how many exactly do you want to see here

nearlylovemyusername · 03/08/2025 21:57

I linked up this thread - 70% of refugees arriving last year were male, 12% of them classified as younger than 18, but let's agree that in absence of documents a number of younger adults would claim being minors and it's impossible to prove otherwise.

ilovesooty · 03/08/2025 22:00

Somerford · 03/08/2025 21:43

The electorate will decide what our obligations are.

Whatever the electorate might "decide" doesn't override International Humanitarian Law.

EasternStandard · 03/08/2025 22:01

ilovesooty · 03/08/2025 22:00

Whatever the electorate might "decide" doesn't override International Humanitarian Law.

Of course people can vote on whether we take the numbers put forward by the op.

Phobiaphobic · 03/08/2025 22:12

GanninHyem · 03/08/2025 17:45

Funny isn't it, I live in an area that takes a lot of refugees, were a city of sanctuary, and most of our population was not born in the UK. Never once experienced these roving gangs of furrin men preying on young girls and children.

Check out what just happened at Nuneaton.

skymagentatwo · 03/08/2025 22:12

ilovesooty · 03/08/2025 22:00

Whatever the electorate might "decide" doesn't override International Humanitarian Law.

Depending whom is in power, withdrawal from these agreements would require formal notification and parliamentary approval and hypothetically are achievable if the will of the country was great enough.

So actually yes the electorate could play a pivotal role in the future.

Itchybritches · 03/08/2025 22:15

Well, for example, UK is 20x bigger and well over 100x richer than lebanon, yet lebanon has over one and a half million refugees, compared to the UK who currently has a total of around 300 000. Turkey has 3 million. We are not fullfilling our humanitarian obligations.

Lebanon is nearly 70% Muslim population. Turkey is 94-99% Muslim. UK is (currently) mainly Christian or no religion with a very progressive culture of equality. Mass immigration has the potential to completely change the core culture of a country.

Perhaps people would be more open to volunteering if they didn’t feel so powerless or threatened by a cultural change being forced upon them. Let’s face it, the most popular male baby name in the UK for the last two years is linked to Islam. A change is happening.
Concern about a country’s loss of culture is not being racist, it’s a genuine concern about the loss of a modern and progressive way of life. It’s very clear many asylum seekers are arriving here to take advantage of the economic package, having passed safe countries on the way.
People in the Uk are feeling poor and also highly taxed, with services in decline. There are already people in this country in need of help - the whole situation has been badly managed and people are fed up.

Phobiaphobic · 03/08/2025 22:16

skymagentatwo · 03/08/2025 21:42

It often makes me wonder how many of these posters claiming to support asylum seekers and refugees are actually benefiting from them being sent and arriving here.

Families, wives, owners, partners, shareholders of accommodation that is rented out to the government.

Families, wives, owners, partners, shareholders of firms offering legal advice and dealing with legal issues that is rented out to the government.

Families, wives, owners, partners, shareholders of places taking kickbacks from them being sent in the first place.

Families, wives, owners, partners, shareholders of companies making a killing from taxes spent on their services and or products.

🤔

You might even think it's something of a coincidence that a very pro refugee post pops up on an influential chat hub a few days after a couple of Afghan asylum seekers are charged for raping and strangling a 12-year-old girl.

waves to RICU

Jennps · 03/08/2025 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/08/2025 22:21

nearlylovemyusername · 03/08/2025 21:40

I thought they aren't on a journey but fleeing the country where their life is in danger? Which means their families lives (women and children) are in danger too?

Ukrainian refugees where almost exclusively women and children? Men stayed there to fight?

Why these refugees aren't doing the same?

Ukrainian men were prevented from leaving by the Government.

Phobiaphobic · 03/08/2025 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lord, you're one to talk.