Long story short - was with my ex partner for 8 years, we have two children together who are 6 and 3. Throughout the 8 years, I stayed with him through so many things hoping he’d change, this included sleeping with his older sons mother at the start of the relationship, a drug addiction, alcoholism, gambling issues, drink driving ban (disgusting I know), endless emotional abuse and manipulation, and finally steroid addiction. Not sticking up for him as he never did anything to try and resolve the root cause, however he has a lot of childhood trauma which I believe contributes to why he is the way he is. I tried to leave so many times, which always resulted in threats to kill himself and promises to change and that he would go to the doctors and start therapy like I’d been asking of him since forever, which obviously never came.
The guilt of making him leave when he made out he had no one to turn to always got to much, so I could never stick at it. 6 weeks ago however, he actually left me and I have never felt so happy. Prior to this, he went on a ‘lads holiday’ to Ibiza where it came to light he wasn’t on his best behaviour. When arriving home he was already arranging his next trip with ‘the lads’ to which I told him I felt uncomfortable about due to his behaviour on the previous trip, bare in mind that this is the first time in over 8 years that I had ever caused any kind of issue about him doing something like that. Following this he told me he couldn’t do it anymore and he was fed up of me controlling him (by controlling him he means getting him away from the drink and the drugs etc etc) and he left!!! All I could say is don’t let the door hit you on the way out 🤭 I’ve felt like such a weight has been lifted and I can feel my spark coming back.
However, the past couple of weeks he has slipped now the novelty of going out all the time has worn off. He’s got a new Mercedes on finance which he definitely can’t afford (he’s 1000% having a midlife crisis and just wants to be seen as ‘the kiddy’ at 37 years old), he’s also living in a caravan with his mate because he can’t afford to privately rent somewhere, this means that he is only able to take the children out for food twice a week and not have them to stay.
So I know the obvious answer would be of course don’t let him back. However, he has finally gone to the doctors and been prescribed Sertraline and got on the list for therapy, typical that it’s once I feel free and happy eh! He has told me that he can see things differently now the medication has started working and that it’s completely changed him. I’m happier without him, however the idea that he is finally on medication that could potentially change him and we could finally be a happy family together is just playing on my mind. Does anyone have experience with how well it can work? Would I be unreasonable for considering letting him back because of this?