I want to complain about school book choices!

[Anon150]

My dd is between year 9 and year 10.
We are not in the UK
She is at an all girls school

So far for English she has read a book about teenage pregnancy which she said was dull, today she tells me the book they are reading next term involves a graphic description of how someone committed suicide.

Youth mental health is a big problem and a huge focus. Where we live it is illegal for the news to give details about the method of suicide.

I am quite cross with the school and want to write and complain that they have exposed the kids to this when really it isn’t allowed, I think for vulnerable youth it’s a really poor decision.

I admit I am traumatised by being made to read a book in school that I still find the contents ‘difficult’ I was talking to my Mother (ex English teacher!) about it today and it literally brought tears to my eyes. However I also think the book choices for dd are poor and dull (English teacher Mother agrees!) I’m conflicted whether I should write and complain or not. I don’t want to be “that” parent but the choices are really poor, they have not been chosen for literary merit. Dd loves school but not English!

What are the book titles?

It may be that the books are mandated by the exam syllabus she is following.

This isn't a bad thing though. It is important to discuss topics like suicide or rape or abuse, in fact having those discussions responsibly in a class can be a great way to reduce the stigma on such issues and educate children, we need to talk about suicide, we need to know its not anything to be ashamed of. Plus it's likely to also be covered in PSHE. Talking about suicide doesn't push people into it, in fact it can reduce stigma and mean when people have such thoughts rather than hiding because they fear judgement they get help. I'd be happy they're having such discussions under a responsible and trained teacher rather than on social media. Plus it's only part of the book and likely won't be a massive discussion point. What's the book called? Honeslty the content in English is dark and deep, there's sex, and rape and abuse, and slavery and war and racism and so many other themes. But it's not a bad thing to have these sensible discussions and we shouldn't shy away from them, it's important kids have discussions on this, rather than from a random website. It may not be helpful now (for many it will be) but it may be in the future. There was as story in Sky News a few weeks ago about a girl who did assemblies to her whole school on suicide after losing her father to it, because she wanted to raise awareness, such an incredible thing to do.

Also in the nicest way possible, you will be 'that' parent and they'll likely not change anything. They won't stop the book because of one complaint, parents complain about many topics in books whether that be prostitution, sex, different sexualities and most of the time the school just says it's fine with the DfE and we have chosen to do it. They're highly unlikely to change it and they've already discussed it most likely and read through it so what would they do about it now? So you can complain but very unsure what you will get out of it as they won't change it. Also a book that's poor and dull for your child may be exciting and interesting for another. English is a very broad subject, some people like certain texts and others don't. It doesn't mean it's bad writing (sometimes it is) just a difference of opinion and many kids may be enjoying it, you're never going to make everyone love every book.

OP, the "illegal" aspect of reporting suicides in the media sounds like Australia, in which case it's voluntary action by the media, not a matter of law.

Did the school supply a booklist before the school year began? If so, you had an opportunity to read it beforehand. If it's like the English system where texts are provided (are they still?) it's different.

As for the books being "dull", not everything is interesting. Not in life, not in school.

Sorry back with answers, the books aren’t mandated or specified as part of a syllabus and no parents didn’t receive any kind of list or advanced warning.

I’m not in Australia so that’s interesting but not relevant here.

They havn’t discussed suicide with a trained teacher they’ve been given a book to read at home over the holidays.

I’m all for discussing difficult things in an appropriate way (I do it regularly at work) but we have increasing issues with youth mental health and the feeling is that detailed discussion of suicide will increase attempts amongst young people. I am also aware that that view is contentious and probably don’t completely share the views of the government around those discussions myself. I personally suspect a more supportive, problem solving, positive actions to take etc. route would be a better approach and probably what happens in the PSHE equivalent classes but that’s not what has taken place here.

However it is as I said in my post 14 year olds have been handed a book to read at home over the holidays and all of a sudden they are reading a graphic description about how this character committed suicide.

I am also all for kids being bored and putting down their phones and running around with a jam sandwich until the street lights come on and so on. However I’m not thrilled that my child was given this with no oversight.

I’m aware that they won’t change the book now (they’ve already handed it out) I’m surprised that the kids have been handed such a graphic book and left to get on with it in light of all the other stuff going on. I do wish they would make ‘better’ choices for next year. It’s perfectly possible to read about sex, drugs and rock and roll and find a book that is interesting, speaks to most of the school and is well written or even 2 out of the 3.

I’m almost certainly not going to complain I’m not a complainer I just like to mutter about it in real life! I will just go back to my previous habit of providing my kids with ‘better’ books than the school does!

We need to know the title of the book.

I admire that you're not only taking an active interest but doing something about your concerns. Good luck.

So is your complaint that the book is too strong for 1
4 year olds, or that it is too boring. These ideas seem to clash!

@echt OP, the "illegal" aspect of reporting suicides in the media sounds like Australia, in which case it's voluntary action by the media, not a matter of law

Except that’s not really how it is. It’s quite disingenuous really. They have a ‘voluntary code’ which enables them to make it really obvious. They will report that x is dead, sadly missed, blah blah. Then always go in to say ‘police have said there are no suspicious details surrounding the death’ or similar, then will go on to list all the main mental health charities dealing with suicide ‘in case you need support reading this article’, just to make it extra obvious. But then it’s a big pat on the back for not mentioning the S word in the article and being self-censoring. Come on🙄.

@TheLivelyViper When I was a kid, I was extensively harassed by classmates. Around that same time, I read a couple different books in which “unpopular” girls killed themselves, which left their tormentors feeling guilty and full of self-hatred. And honestly, the idea of ending my pain and making my classmates feel some of the anguish I was feeling sounded like a pretty good idea.

I think it really depends on how the topic is handled.

I agree. It's very mealy-mouthed while being as clear as they can. I think it's the suppression of the method they prioritise. When my DD was at school there were quite a few teen suicides by jumping in front of trains which were all suppressed though everyone knew, though that's because they were local.

Without knowing the books I can’t say whether you’re unreasonable or not.

Can’t comment without the book titles.

Name the books!

What does your daughter think about the book depicting suicide? Have you had a discussion with her about what she read?

You can't complain about a book being dull that's just silly, that's only her opinion everyone has a different opinion on what they've read.

I think them being sent home to read it is the problem.

Subjects like suicide are difficult for parents to discuss, it should be linked to something like a social studies class or the availability of a counsellor.

No details of the books yet? I can only assume Jude the Obscure and Persuasion.

It’s the same in the UK. And well - yes it’s voluntary but the whole industry agrees with it and getting it wrong is seen as very unprofessional. There are guidelines outlined by the Samaritans and you follow them.

Until OP says what the books are we cannot say whether they are being unreasonable or not.

hi sorry I’m struggling with describing ‘boring’ properly, it was a throw away word, dull, unentertaining. The teen pregnancy one is a modern one, the best way I can describe it is by saying in books like Hatchet, The curious incident, once, then etc it feels like someone has written a novel and things happen, the story has been well crafted and well written with well constructed characters that the reader cares about. The teen pregnancy book feels like someone has sat down to write about teen pregnancy and the purpose of the book is to tick a ‘write about teen pregnancy box’ rather than a well written novel (even if biographical)

It annoyed me the school chose teen pregnancy because it would be considered a generally aspirational school by the kids there and parents in the wider area, I get they want the kids to read about certain subjects but feelings around moving schools, needing to work whilst at school, or some form of displacement would be far more relatable in general. It feels like the school bought into the whole box ticking by insisting they read a poor book rather than put a bit of effort into finding something more appropriate! (Pleased no one has said they should be able to relate to teen pregnancy 😯)

Good point. Sadly I am away from home and this was a comment at the end of a call, I need to go back and discuss it with her properly.

my complaint wouldn’t be about it being dull! It would be about them giving the kids a book to read over the holidays with a graphic description of suicide in it, particularly when they are unable to support the kids and it feels like something they shouldn’t be doing.

OP why are you ignoring everyone who is asking what the books are?

You really need to tell us the titles of the books if you're going to get a relevant response. I don't know why you're being so coy about it.

Yeah because I don’t want to give the titles!
i don’t want this to become a discussion about ‘oh that’s not that bad’ or ‘oh I liked that book’ or ‘oh you hate the teen pregnancy one because the main character is poor or American or whatever’ my question wasn’t is this a good book or am I unreasonable to complain about X book it’s about whether they should have given them a graphic description of suicide to read over the holidays. I put in the back story about no reporting of mechanisms, etc (they don’t even mention the work suicide) so people could see this might be more shocking.

plus one of the books it’s likely no one would have heard of and would absolutely give away my daughters school so no I won’t be naming them sorry.

We’re not in the UK.

I think it would be bold of me to say both Jude and Persuasion were poorly written tokanistic books without a good storyline or character! They have at least stuck around for a while so someone must like them!