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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I need to panic or not

20 replies

TheOpalFox · 02/08/2025 22:37

I have recently moved address
a ‘victim’ used to live here as my son has opened the letter by accident. The letter says it’s from the victim centre from the police and the offence is going to court
im just worried incase anything happens here :/ like anyone comes thinking the girl that got someone arrested and charged still lives here? I have been here a month and been fine but don’t want to live in fear :/
shall I tell the police she’s not here. And my son opened it by accident or not please? Thank you

OP posts:
Theuntamed · 02/08/2025 22:40

A victim doesn’t ’get someone arrested and charged’, the person who breaks the law does that to themselves…

TheCurious0range · 02/08/2025 22:42

Yes call the number on the letter say it was opened by mistake and she's no longer at that address, it's important police are able to contact her. Do you rent or own? If you have any way of passing on further details eg her conveyancer or the letting agent please do.

TheCurious0range · 02/08/2025 22:42

Not sure why you'd panic

TheCurious0range · 02/08/2025 22:43

Also she didn't 'get someone arrested' their behaviour did that!

TheOpalFox · 02/08/2025 22:56

TheCurious0range · 02/08/2025 22:42

Not sure why you'd panic

Incase anyone turners up here thinking she lived here ?

OP posts:
WhatToDo1234567 · 02/08/2025 22:59

I wouldn’t worry about something happening - just let the police know.

FWIW I used to get those letters multiple times a week (I logged a lot of crime in retail, back when it was occasionally pursued through court) and about half the time it got sent to my house instead of the store. I’ve also received one (but not going to court, just a general victim support blurb) after reporting a stranger throwing stones at cars on the road miles from my house, and another from logging vandalism at a site I volunteered at. There would’ve been no way for any of the criminals to know where I lived.

TheCurious0range · 02/08/2025 23:12

TheOpalFox · 02/08/2025 22:56

Incase anyone turners up here thinking she lived here ?

But she could've been the victim of anything! Shoptheft, domestic abuse, credit card fraud. Why on earth would they turn up at your house?!

Doingtheboxerbeat · 02/08/2025 23:18

I understand OP because I live somewhere undesirable where retribution sometimes occur and it seems many on this thread don't get it because it's a different world and quite rightly so.

PollyBell · 03/08/2025 00:37

Panic over what? They don't live there so what on earth is the problem?

TheOpalFox · 03/08/2025 00:43

PollyBell · 03/08/2025 00:37

Panic over what? They don't live there so what on earth is the problem?

Incase they think the person still lives here?

OP posts:
Devonshiregal · 03/08/2025 00:55

Doingtheboxerbeat · 02/08/2025 23:18

I understand OP because I live somewhere undesirable where retribution sometimes occur and it seems many on this thread don't get it because it's a different world and quite rightly so.

Yes - it’s good that most people don’t recognise this as a reality but it is a legitimate worry (although still a very minimal risk!) Someone being a victim could mean anything - like they had their phone nicked out and about, or some creep exposed themselves on the tube, or their car was keyed by a crazy neighbour (who will surely know she’s moved). And most arrestees don’t go to prison anyway. It’s not likely she has a gang of sopranos style guys after her. You should definitely let the police know she’s not living there though - she might want to access victim support (not that I’ve found them to be particularly supportive but hey ho!).

PollyBell · 03/08/2025 00:56

TheOpalFox · 03/08/2025 00:43

Incase they think the person still lives here?

Bur they dont so why panic? It makes no sense

Stiffnewknee · 03/08/2025 01:04

@PollyBell
I’m assuming the OP is worried in case someone still thinks the previous occupant lives there and is afraid some unpleasant visitors may turn up looking for them?
Perfectly legitimate and I’m baffled that this isn’t obvious! I’ve had this happen to me more than once so clearly isn’t that far fetched. 🙄
OP I would call the police, chances are it will be fine but best not to risk it.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 03/08/2025 01:08

Stiffnewknee · 03/08/2025 01:04

@PollyBell
I’m assuming the OP is worried in case someone still thinks the previous occupant lives there and is afraid some unpleasant visitors may turn up looking for them?
Perfectly legitimate and I’m baffled that this isn’t obvious! I’ve had this happen to me more than once so clearly isn’t that far fetched. 🙄
OP I would call the police, chances are it will be fine but best not to risk it.

It’s not far fetched at all. Very easy to know why it’s a worry . The people saying they don’t get it just want the OP to spell it out, which is weird AF

SummerEve · 03/08/2025 01:09

TheOpalFox · 03/08/2025 00:43

Incase they think the person still lives here?

Oh come on, this is so over the top

TheOpalFox · 03/08/2025 01:13

Is it? I have children here too?

OP posts:
TheOpalFox · 03/08/2025 01:13

Stiffnewknee · 03/08/2025 01:04

@PollyBell
I’m assuming the OP is worried in case someone still thinks the previous occupant lives there and is afraid some unpleasant visitors may turn up looking for them?
Perfectly legitimate and I’m baffled that this isn’t obvious! I’ve had this happen to me more than once so clearly isn’t that far fetched. 🙄
OP I would call the police, chances are it will be fine but best not to risk it.

Yes exactly this!

OP posts:
PollyBell · 03/08/2025 01:16

Somome asks 'does x live here' the answer is 'no' they dont' this is what i said when a similar thing happened to me there was no need to panic

TwinklyNight · 03/08/2025 02:09

I'd take it to the police.
Your son won get in trouble opening it, people often absentmindedly tear open envelopes that arrive to their home with their mail.

TwinklyNight · 03/08/2025 02:17

PollyBell · 03/08/2025 01:16

Somome asks 'does x live here' the answer is 'no' they dont' this is what i said when a similar thing happened to me there was no need to panic

Yes, true. About a year after we bought our place a carload of young men showed up in the driveway, just one came to the door. I asked through an upper window "Hello?", he looked up and asked for "Gord", I said no Gord here we bought this house over a year ago", he said ok thanks and they left.

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