... to think it

[DidYouCutTheGrass]

On no. I missed the title and can;t seem to edit it, so this will spam a lot of people. Apologies!

I was going to post this in relationships, but thought I'd get a better set of replies here. Context is in a relationship for a 6 months, all very good so far, no complexity with kids/marriage, have met his friends and family, similar careers/area of work, no plans to move in or rush things, we both have our own lives, but do a lot together now. So all very positive!

But was discussing our pasts, one very strange thing is he doesn't know the first person he has sex with. I find that so so strange.

YABU - I really don't know the person I had slept with
YANBU - Of course I know the first person I had sex with

Not looking for any details, it just a question for MN. I don't know if I'm somewhat strange about this, or him!

Of course he knows, and he knows you won't like the answer. My bet is an escort.

I was going to say everyone remembers their first but I don’t remember the name of my first. I was 16 and now I’m 52. I remember the everything else but not his name

I can’t imagine not knowing the same of my first. So yes, I definitely do.

Is it really something that needs to be discussed? I've never felt the need to hear about some bloke's first time and I definitely wouldn't want to tell one about mine, either. Nothing dodgy about it, it's just, well, ewwwwww, why would you be asking about it?

Agree.

Don't discuss my first or any others, including how many.

Don't ask either.

Are you sure you haven't misunderstood? Did he say he doesn't know them, or he doesn't know who it was? It could very easily be someone he didn't know (one night stand perhaps), or someone he hasn't seen in years.

Perhaps he was a very late bloomer and is embarrassed by it, or he has only slept with one person - or maybe even none?

Lots of possibilities, but why would you ever even bring this up in conversation with a partner?

I'd find that very strange indeed. You could of course avoid the discussion, but there would be niggling questions for me (from too much work in legal/policing area no doubt!). For example, all the following are possible

• Was he a victim of abuse?
• Is there a history of serious alcohol or drug abuse?
• Prostitution?
• And more chilling ... did he assault/r*pe someone?

Very surprised at the voting BTW.

YANBU. Though I suppose it can happen if there are drinks or drugs involved or some sort of awkward encounter at a teenage party.

If you report your own OP you can ask MNHQ to edit the title to what you meant it to be.

I don't understand your wording. Do you mean that he doesn't know the person he had sex with, or he's saying he can't remember?

Also, like PPs have said - this is not a conversation I've ever felt the need to have! The past is the past.

I cannot think of a single good reason this could be. Best guess is sex worker.

Why do you need to know?

It's not something I've ever been asked, divulged or been asked about and I'm 51.

I have absolutely no idea why so many people are interested in someone else's sexual history. Anything they really don't want you to know, they'd leave out anyway - I know I would.

It's absolutely pointless.