To think hope is overrated because it doesn’t actually change anything?

[MyAmusedOpalCrab]

People often cling to hope instead of taking real action to improve their lives. It feels like a comforting illusion - e.g., hoping to win the lottery instead of getting qualifications or changing careers.

Is hope ever actually useful or is it just a way to stay stuck?

Hope changes everything. Hope for a better future is what energises you to make the changes needed to achieve your goals.

Wishing for a lottery win isn't the same as having hope.
Hope/belief is what gets you through the dark times.

What do you think being 'Hopeless" looks like?

I get what you’re saying about hope being fuel but I think that’s where we see it differently. To me, action is what changes everything, not the feeling of hope itself. Maybe I’m using a narrower definition but when I say hope I mean that passive version where people wait for things to change rather than making the change. I guess I see hopeless as being resigned but also realistic enough to know you need to do something, not just wish for it.

Hope is the motivation for action in your scenario.

What about when there isn't any action that can be taken, when bad stuff has happened out of sheer bad luck?

Without hope I'd be dead now. I hope that the terrible run of bad luck I've had changes.

Obviously it's futile and there's no such thing as luck, but let me have something to hold on to!

I think you are misreading what hope is OP. Hoping to win the lottery is problematic because it's a passive attitude to life. Hope is not the problem there.

You could have a bad experience in a relationship or at work but hope to find love or a better placement next time, again and so be open to new relationships and apply for suitable vacancies, or decide to feel bitter and jaded and allow those negative emotions to hold you back. You can set out to run a marathon or climb a mountain or write a novel without being the fittest or most creative person on the planet and hope to finish - whether you do or not, it's still worth having made the attempt.

If you have no hope of improvement then there’s no point in any action. Without hope Pandora’s box is empty and it’s game over.

Sometimes you're not in a position to take practical steps, and the hope that one day you will be is enough to sustain you.

Even if I revise really hard for my exam, I’m still hoping to pass.
You apply for job applications in the hope that you’ll get a job or a better job.
Hope for a better future drives you to work hard and achieve.

To me, hope and belief are different things, and I appreciate the previous posters comment that hope is futile. It implies passivity, that things will change without any action. Belief on the other hand, is an activity. Even the belief that things will get better after a period of bad luck relies on you continuing to focus on getting through to the period where things get better, and taking some steps to get yourself there. Hope that things will get better, to me at least, implies sitting on the sofa and waiting for things to get better.

@Allthegoodnamesarechosen yes exactly. Hope is the motivation for action is the perfect way of putting it.

I used to be homeless and an addict, I was trafficked, life was awful, but I used to have hope; I looked forward to what I would do when life was better. I never stopped appreciating little things.
And it was having hope that meant I could keep going until life was actually better. Without it why bother?

I hear you - in situations where there’s genuinely nothing you can do, I can see how hope can feel like the only thing left to hold on to. Maybe my issue is more with the way hope gets used when action is possible but people don’t take it. In your case, it’s not about avoiding action - it’s about getting through something you can’t control, which I understand is a different kind of hope.

But OP, your definition of hopeless is unusual. Most people who feel hopeless give up on life. They think there is no point applying for one more job, going for one more OLD meet up, signing up for one more evening class to make new friends. It's hope for a better outcome that spurs us to act. Intrinsic in the decision to take action is the hope that it will lead to a desired outcome. If there was no hope that it would, then we wouldn't make any effort.

Hope is all powerful.
It is a reason to wake up to see the Sun each day.
It is belief that you will prevail; a true comfort.

Futility, on the other hand, is empty of a future; no reason for effort..

Never met anyone who truly hopes to win the lottery and consequently doesn’t make any changes / direct their own life. You only need a very rudimentary understanding of probability to know that the odds are spectacularly against you.

Hope is what keeps the people of Gaza going. Hope is what keeps parents by the side of their significantly premature baby’s side. Hope is what keeps parents people motivated to get up and put one foot in front of the other when there appears to be nothing to live for.

I found when I was ttc and not succeeding that at a certain point hope stopped being an ally and started being an enemy,preventing me from moving to a place of acceptance and looking for other ways to find fulfilment. It was only at menopause that I was able to let go of it.

I get what you're saying.

I had a friend who for something out of her control suddenly found herself in a really bad financial situation. Because in her head, in 6 months' time it would be sorted and everything would be okay, she didn't adjust.
So she'd get the £3k TV that she saw advertised on 0% credit for the next 6 months. In 8 months' time she'd be devastated when the TV was taken away due to non-payment.
As friends we would often be saying "you cannot afford it" and she'd shake her head at us and say she just knew things would change shortly.
It was only when she reached rock bottom and realised that unless she did something things wouldn't change that she stopped just hoping things would sort themselves out.
It took her 7 years to reach that point. I wouldn't say she hit a point of hopelessness, but she realised that unless she did something, nothing would ever change. Two years later she was out of debt and back to how she was.

But the hope that things would just fix themselves stopped her acting.

However if she had been without any hope that the future could get better, then I don't think she would have tried. So equally well nothing would have changed.

So you do need some hope.

Df used to say:
Hope for the best
Prepare for the worst

You need to work as though nothing except work will change the situation, and you can't do that without hope that it will change.

There are two reasons why a person will get back up again after being knocked down. One is Hope and the other is sheer bloodymindedness.

The proportion of each varies, but if there is no hope of success, there's at least the hope of making it bloody difficult for whatever is knocking you down. Once hope is completely gone, might as well stay down.

Humanity needs hope, even it's the faint hope that you'll give the people eating monster a stomachache in the process, you'll take a few of the enemy down with you or you'll be remembered as that awkward bugger who just wouldn't give up.

There are situations where all you can do is hope, such as illness, passing exams, where you may have studied hard and hope it pays off. Hope you get that present you really want.

Having hope doesn't mean you haven't worked hard, tried your best nor have ambition.

I can't say that I know anyone who uses "hope" as an actual lifestyle choice. Most people hope they'll win the lottery for example, but realistically know they won't. Me included actually. There are also people who hope for world peace or for a relative to get better from an illness against all the odds. Do you know lots of people who sit around doing absolutely nothing whilst hoping they'll be crowned the next monarch or something OP?

Hope is sometimes the only thing we have. But it covers a huge range of situations.

Most of us would hope for fine weather if we plan a bbq. Our hope is completely pointless in terms of the outcome ( except obviously planning it during the summer rather than February).

We would all have huge hope that treatment for an illness would be successful and would complete the treatment and comply with any advice given. In that instance it may be the one thing that helps us get through the treatment.

I imagine most people sitting a driving test hope to pass. They will usually have prepared thoroughly and done whatever is necessary to give themselves the best chance. If they fail and lose hope then they won’t go on to try again. In this instance hope is motivational.

If I didn't hold on to a bit of hope, why would I have got a GP appointment to complain about my son's CAMHS referral being turned down?

In fact why would I have fought to get that CAMHS referral in the first place when it was initially refused - I could go further, why would I have bothered getting a GP appointment for him in the first place when I knew getting the referral was going to be bloody difficult, and was sure if it was made it was going to be turned down anyway?

Without hope and a certain stubbornness I'd have just given up, sat down and despaired alongside DS.

Hope and wishful thinking (winning the lottery) are two different things entirely. The latter is luck, the former is something that can give you the motivation to achieve. If one didn’t hope that doing xyz would improve their life they wouldn’t do it!

Hope is just a disappointment that hasn't happened yet.