For not wanting neighbours kids in my property?

Ihatemyneighb · 2025-08-02T10:51:07+00:00

Neighbour living about 12 doors down. Kid comes into my property around age12 I think, I know the mother by face but not name but never seen kid. I told kid to leave and don’t come again. Went to see the mother and asked her for this to not happen again but her reaction is it’s harmless and kids having fun and to lighten up etc.etc. Don’t want to explain my reasons but what do u think - AIBU?

PuppyMonkey · 02/08/2025 11:53

Was the kid visiting your kid?
Or just appeared inside your house?
How did they get in?

So many questions.

Original poster

Ihatemyneighb · 02/08/2025 11:54

In my driveway and then went into the garden by side gate

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Original poster

Ihatemyneighb · 02/08/2025 11:54

No my kid and their kid not friends

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Purplecatshopaholic · 02/08/2025 11:54

I’d need more detail I think.. Are you saying a child you don’t know just randomly walked into your house unannounced? If so, I would say it’s not unreasonable to ask them not to do that. And also not unreasonable to keep your door locked..
However was the child invited by a child of yours perhaps?

WhoFedTheFish · 02/08/2025 11:55

What’s the context?

random 12yo turning up in your house alone - YANBU

random 12yo who has been playing with your kids coming in with your kids - YABU a bit!

Moonnstars · 02/08/2025 11:55

Does their property have a garden?
Does seem a bit odd they are wandering in like that. I wouldn't like it either. Do you have children though? Are they hoping to come round to find them out playing?

Silverbirchleaf · 02/08/2025 11:55

No, they shouldn’t be in your garden without permission.

frogyoda · 02/08/2025 12:02

My 13 year old and his friends might possibly walk onto someone’s garden - not fully appreciating how the owner might feel - i would hope he wouldnt do this and would have respect for other people - but if someone came to me and said he had done it, i would apologise and warn him not to that and explain why.

Original poster

Ihatemyneighb · 02/08/2025 12:03

frogyoda · 02/08/2025 12:02

My 13 year old and his friends might possibly walk onto someone’s garden - not fully appreciating how the owner might feel - i would hope he wouldnt do this and would have respect for other people - but if someone came to me and said he had done it, i would apologise and warn him not to that and explain why.

Just Out of curiosity- is your son friends with the owners kids? As I’ve explained there is no friendship don’t even know the kids name. All I know is child was doing this for fun.

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Original poster

Ihatemyneighb · 02/08/2025 12:05

Oh sorry @frogyoda i misread - you said into their garden. No that’s completely fine! My property there’s no need for anyone to even walk past as we’re on the end and there’s no where to go only my house. Don’t want to give too many details! Might be identifying

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Original poster

Ihatemyneighb · 02/08/2025 12:09

I’m just gobsmacked by the entitlement of the mum as she thinks her child can do whatever she wishes and she’s just being a kid, DH thinks I might be slightly weird about this as people have different views. So I’m asking on here - not what u as a parent would do as I know that’s emotive. My question is would you be happy for a random kid to do this?

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Greencustardmonster · 02/08/2025 12:26

The only people of any age I’d want in my house or garden are those I’ve invited or that are actual friends of my own children and invited by them. I might turn a blind eye to a child I knew who had just come to retrieve a ball over the fence. Otherwise I’d assume they were up to mischief and tell them to go away. I probably wouldn’t bother the parent though unless it happened again.

Age 12 is well old enough to understand basic social norms around not opening gates and trespassing into gardens uninvited and to realise some people would be upset, scared or annoyed by it. It’s also old enough that, rightly or wrongly, it’ll be assumed they’re up to no good.

Tagyoureit · 02/08/2025 12:27

No, you don't just wondering in to someone else's garden through a sidegate of a property where you dont know the owners.

Its weird! And 12 years old is definitely old enough to know better.

The mum of the wondering child should parent her child properly.

What if said child hurts themselves on your property and you have no idea they are even in the garden?

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 02/08/2025 12:29

No, I would not be happy about it.

Starblisskiss · 02/08/2025 17:28

Definitely weird! I would really not be happy at all

Parker231 · 02/08/2025 17:30

Put a lock on the gate so no one can access your property.

RawBloomers · 02/08/2025 17:31

When we were that sort of age exploring the neighbourhood did sometimes include checking out gardens, seeing how far/where we could get over back gardens in particular. We knew we shouldn't be doing it though and our parents would have punished us if they'd found out.

So I do find it quite "normal" but like most testing of barriers that children try, that doesn't make it okay or something parents should be okay about.

Not sure what you do about it if the parent isn't going to take action, though. Maybe have a hose ready to water the garden? Trespass isn't illegal, but if you have neighbourhood policing the local Bobby might have words as it's pretty anti-social.

Cherrysoup · 02/08/2025 17:33

Nope, unknown kids don’t get to just wander into your property. Do you animals she was trying to access? I’d tell her very firmly to never do that again.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 02/08/2025 17:33

frogyoda · 02/08/2025 12:02

My 13 year old and his friends might possibly walk onto someone’s garden - not fully appreciating how the owner might feel - i would hope he wouldnt do this and would have respect for other people - but if someone came to me and said he had done it, i would apologise and warn him not to that and explain why.

FGS, unless he’s got SN a 13 year old should be very well aware that unless they’ve been invited in, other people’s gardens are off limits.

frogyoda · 02/08/2025 17:38

They are aware but kids that age sometimes do dumb things without thinking though the consequences or how it might make others feel. My son is generally well behaved and considerate but i would be open if someone came to me to point out he’d been up to something he shouldn’t have been doing. I want him to behave well for his sake and for the sake of others.

Morwkoob · 02/08/2025 17:42

We recently moved house and one of my stepchildren is 12, has autism, and has twice now walked into a neighbours house thinking it was ours. She realised after opening the front door and stepping inside, stepping out shutting the door and running back to the adult she was with but both times we've been apologetic to the home owners but she's been quicker than we could get her. Our new street all the front doors/front of house look the same, only been 1 or 2 houses away from the right one.
Could it be an accident/unintentional or a neurodivergence?
I did apologise but I know not all parents would.

NeedATreat · 02/08/2025 17:44

I live in a detached house in the bottom corner of a cul de sac, where my driveway leads down from the road and as a result no one passes my house at all, ever. There’s no path or road past my house. A neighbour’s child and her friend took to using my driveway to play on their scooters. It drove the dog round the bend and, as a result, drove me round the bend. I asked them to stop playing on my driveway and felt no guilt in doing so. YANBU

PestoHoliday · 02/08/2025 17:47

She's a CF, of course her 12 year old shouldn't be wandering into other people's gardens.

Goldbar · 02/08/2025 18:02

I suggest you wander into the mum's garden and start having a picnic. And tell her "Lighten up, it's just a bit of fun".

Carandache18 · 02/08/2025 18:07

Were they collecting a ball, or toy?