To be livid with my DP buggering off (within the house)

[To111ornotto111]

Possibly overdramatic. We've had the week off, and my DP has been on his work phone, or napping half of the time we've been home with the kids (2 under 5). Every time I ask him how long he'll be, hell give me a vague response of "not long" or just avoid answering. I never get any warning of when hes disappearing, he just vanishes. We've just got home from an activity for our eldest, and my DP has fucked off back to bed without so much as informing me. AIBU to be daydreaming about waking him up with an air horn while I clean/ tidy/ keep an ear out for the kids?

Is there any point to him being off from work too? 🙄

Well he is evidently having a lovely break! 😂😂

Surely it's just send the dc in to see df??

I would give him the DC and then bugger off out

Honestly, why are you not going up and telling him that at (time) you’re going out? Not sure when you’ll be back, or what you’re doing. You’re just popping out and he’ll need to sort the kids out for the afternoon.

Don’t let him away with this selfishness, he sounds like a prick.

This 100%

Every time he disappears tell the kids that daddy’s playing hide and seek and they have to find him and play the recorder for him?

Absolutely. Take the children into the bedroom, wake him up and tell him you're going out so he is in charge of his kids.

Go for at least 2 hours.

Haha I love this!

Why is he going to bed? I think I would be waking him and asking him why he is doing this and giving him something to do.

Every time he does this send the DC to play with him. If he starts objecting say ok you have a 2 hour break and then take the kids while I nap/ pop out etc. Every time.

Yes, do this!

You need a conversation about why he doesn't want to depend time with his children. He sounds awful.

This is a fabulous idea and I might have to try it! I have given him a talking to about how fed up I am, hopefully he'll buck his ideas up and I won't need to buy a recorder or 2...

I think sometimes you just look forward to having an hours downtime
but your constantly in edge and soon as you sit down it’s as though you should have to jump up to do something

tbh yes there’s kids and house but if your both off grab the opportunity for both of you to have a bit of individual downtime meeting a friend or off to the gym

Bit difficult to grab the opportunity when I'm the only one present with the kids 😉

The point is you need to each get downtime. The reason you're livid with him is that he gets lots and lots of downtime and you get none.

It's fine for him to take time away with your agreement, but he doesn't get to just disappear. And you absolutely need to be strict about getting the same amount of time for you.

Just make plans and go out without him if that’s the case. Don’t let him ruin your week off.