Always on the peripheral

[MummytoTM]

i always feel like I’m on the peripheral of friendship groups & I really don’t know what I can do about it.

For example, I’ve got 3 friends who I met through our husbands being friends. I’m always the one to arrange the 4 of us getting together but I know the others meet up individually and text a lot. I’m never included on that 😞. And it’s the same story with the mums I met through antenatal classes - everyone seems keen to meet as a group when I suggest it but I know smaller groups have formed and I’ve not been included either.

Can anyone else relate ? Should I just be taking the hint and stop suggesting things ?

I’m not going to vote as I’m not sure what I’d be voting for but I just wanted to say I’m that person too. I’m on a group of 6 friends and I can tell from conversations that the others are talking/catching up/messaging as they know things about each other I don’t or am not aware of.

its happened in almost every group I’m in. I have a lot of friends but I’m always peripheral and never have a best friend (which I’d like) I don’t know why it is but would be interested in other people perspectives to see if I can understand why

I always used to feel like I was on the peripheral, not that I had many friends, but it's improved as time has gone on. I had lots of therapy and thought about how I relate to others. I also stopped caring about what others think so am more relaxed about being myself. I'm probably less awkward as well.

With me it was very much how I felt in my family growing up, especially in relation to my mum. I think we do repeat what is familiar to us without really meaning to.

I’m that person too OP. No words of wisdom, just a unmumsnetterly hug to let you know you’re not alone.

Is it that the others are more charismatic or have something the others covet, status or generous with stuff? Me too but I like my independence. In bigger groups I’ve always broadly found there’s one all love & one mocked or almost hated figure. Neither label often really deserved, just group dynamics.