To be really upset.

[Loveebug]

Was driving. Got to traffic lights. Heard a beep. I was going round, he was turning off when we set off. As I went he put middle finger out the window and shouted big nose twat or something like that. Nothing happened, no near miss. I don’t even know what set it off

Should say, the beep was random not as I was moving round. It was when stationary.

I don't think I understand the situation. Was the light red or green. Were you going around him while he was turning? Here in the US that's not legal although people do do it. At least in my state it's not.

However I do think you're being unreasonable to be upset about what some random man yelled at you out the window.

I’d just let it go and move on. Some people act like twats when they are driving. But personally I wouldn’t give this another thought.

Sounds like you were oblivious.

He was just behind me. I was just following the lane straight ahead, as normal. Then stopped for the red lights which are on the round about. He didn’t even beep straight away. You can continue round or come off the roundabout in the same lane, as I was going round and he was coming off. As he went stuck the middle finger out the window and shouted that.

There are some very angry people out there who vent their rage on others whenever they get the chance. Especially if the other person has no way of retaliating. His behaviour says a lot about him and nothing about you.

ok, thanks. Just feel upset and had my little one in the car. Just feel like I’m a magnet for unkind behaviour when just going about my day

People are just dicks , we’ve just had two near misses in the space of seconds - double truck with load of straw pulled out of junction into our path forcing us to brake quite sharply and while picking back up speed an idiot in a BMW overtook us on a blind bend and nearly hit oncoming car. It’s always a bit upsetting someone behaving like that with the gesture and words but honestly they are just cocks

I was once called a fat bastard by a man who thought he had right of way when he didn't.

I was followed by a very aggressive driver shouting his head off at me. He was in the wrong lane but obviously thought he wasn't. I had to drive down a side road to shake him off.

Was stopped by a policeman who told me I was driving 35 in a 30. He didn't issue a fine, just walked back to a van full of policemen laughing their heads off at me when they drove off🤷‍♀️

There are a lot of people that take on a persona when they get behind the wheel of a car.

What do you mean by 'a magnet for unkind behaviour'?

One person was rude to you. That's it. That's not being a 'magnet for unkind behaviour'.

If you are getting shouted at on a daily basis by people who are annoyed by your driving, you probably need to look at your driving. But one man being a rude dick? It's nothing. Just move on.

Ok this is overthinking.

it’s annoying when someone is rude. It’s reflective of their personality not yours.

You need to put it in perspective, nothing bad happened, it was a tiny moment out of the day.

Considering yourself a “magnet for unkind behaviour” is a bit worrying though. How old is your child?

Utter moron wanker. Take no notice x

If this is the thing that has really upset your i think you're doing well in life

He was probably a sad old incel.

Hold your head up high confident you were in the right and know he's the horrible person for treating someone else in such a way. There's so many uptight people out there taking their own frustrations out on others.

I don’t know, I’m quite sensitive I guess. She is 5

No, not when I’m driving, just in general. Im probably just over thinking, I do that a lot. I can think of one single moment like this for days after

Obviously at two lane traffic lights?

I find that kind of interaction upsetting and particularly when there was no obvious reason for him to be angry. He sounds like a truly unpleasant person, be glad you're not married to him! You won't care about this in a few days so may as well stop caring now. x

There’s no excuse for aggressive behaviour. Try and forget it @Loveebug. 💐

I really do not buy into people being too sensitive or over thinking. There's a reason behind this so I'm guessing there is more going on than this one incident in your life.

With this particular incident, no, YANBU at all. If you're feeling vulnerable, then this behaviour, by a man, can be really triggering and unsettling.

If you're a single female parent,even more so. This behaviour reminds you that some people are very angry. It doesn't matter what you did or did not do.

A camera in the car can be a good idea for future feelings of security and confidence. I've had 2 really scary incidents with men. I drive a small car and am certain those incidents wouldn't have happened if I was a man in a big car. One guy asked me if I knew who he was ( as in he's a big deal 😬). He was someone not to be messed with he told me. He tailgated me very aggressively so I pulled over and he stopped alongside me in a country road. I was in a UK location on holiday alone with my child in the car. I didn't even realise exactly what my driving crime was that blew him up 🤷.

One guy another time got out his car and came to my window threatening me. He was up my ass revving in a queue! He was so aggressive that I took a photo. He saw me do that and then went nuts. Karma was amazing because an unmarked Police car was behind him at the time. They flew out and grabbed him 😆. Amazing 🙏.

Get a dash cam and realise this is not you, it's him and his issues.

OP have you got Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD): Symptoms & Treatment Link

Thank you for your message

I am a single parent, yes.

You're feeling vulnerable. This is a reminder of that feeling of vulnerability you have as a woman raising a child alone. You will magnify the impact of this guy incident because of that.

I would look at all ways to increase your confidence and feelings of security that underly this response. It's entirely valid btw. The threat level and personalising it is however magnified because you feel vulnerable.

I hope you have support,friends and loved ones.

Meditation is great for managing alot of this 😘. And def think about a dashcam. I believe when people see it in the car they might behave better.

There are some vile humans around. The world would be a better place without them.