To think she was making a dig? Work related

[mochalattewithmarshmallows]

I'm off sick at the moment with a well-documented condition thst my employer has known about for several years. I've been under the care of a specialist doctor and have previously shown medical reports and scan results at work. Line manager totally understands its a very genuine condition and the amount of pain it causes.

Earlier this week my 2 week sicknote was coming to an end and I contacted my GP to ask for 1 more week, plus some stronger meds.. This was agreed by GP and I phoned work to explain.

Line manager was off on leave so I spoke to a colleague who deputises when manager not in.

I explained the situation and was met with "so that means you'll only be back for a week before you're off on 2 weeks annual leave (she read out my list of annual leave dates from a wallchart that we write them on but I was in too much pain to even remember the exact dates tbh) ... We'll at least we'll get to have you for 1 week of the school holidays... "

Im a single parent of a primary aged child but, due to my sickness, I havent even had my child at home much. They've been staying with grandparents who live locally, although I walk over to see child daily.

I felt this colleague was trying to insinuate that I'd "chosen to fall sick" because it was the school holidays, like as an alternative to arranging childcare. This couldn't be further from the truth tbh. Grandparents always help with childcare anyway, so I'm never stuck or put in a situation where I'd need to consider "being ill". I'm lucky in that regard.

This colleague has form for making snipy remarks. Maybe I just got upset because I'm sleepless, in a lot of pain and dosed up to be eyeballs on meds.

Called the union to ask for advice was was told she was totally out of line in what she said.

What do others think?

Union advised me to keep record of what was said and to document any similar remarks that are made when I return to work as, potentially, It could amount to bullying or harassment.

You could consider a quiet word with your actual manager when they’re back, just to flag the tone of the interaction, without making a formal complaint. That helps if you need support later.
Stay focused on recovery. You don’t owe this colleague any explanation or justification.

Just let it go and focus on your recovery.

My manager did similar once for a funeral, and I retorted something like "at least she was considerate enough to die on a Friday so I've the Sunday off anyway, would have been far worse if she'd picked the Monday" and he completely backtracked. Oh that's not what I meant. Dickhead.

I'm sorry you're sick, and I think it's sensible to just focus your energy on recovery, good luck OP.
Has your employer got enough staff so that everything is covered over July/August, even if someone is on sick leave? I have worked in teams where we had a regulatory requirement to get stuff produced & signed-off daily - so if people were off sick while others were on holiday it sometimes meant those left behind had to work late to get it done. If they had their own childcare arranged via holiday clubs etc. that was tricky for them. Let's hope your colleague was just having an off-day and expressed herself badly; it's not right for anyone to resent somebody for being ill.

I'm sorry you are so unwell.

Some people are snippy. We need to be able to deal with it as adults and professionals without involving union reps. I imagine you are not in the most resourceful frame of mind right now so just let it go and focus on your recovery.

I’m sorry you are unwell and not that you should accept it, but perhaps she took her frustration out on you. There are women that do ring in sick over the summer - there have been posts on here about it. Not saying that’s you, but she’s probably more worried about the cover and picking up the slack for the absences. Again, not saying that you should bear the brunt of it.

I hope you feel better soon.

It's not your fault, but it does sound like a staffing nightmare if you're not reliable with attendance. She shouldn't have said it to you, but I bet a lot of your team are annoyed at picking up the slack. Perhaps they need to "replace" you with a new full time employee and accept your attendance will be in addition and on an unreliable basis.

That's pretty much what my work have done with me. I haven't called in sick yet, thankfully, but they know that any given day I might be unwell and have hired a full time person whilst I work part time when I'm able. I've only committed to weekly hours/times that I feel will be manageable.

Focus on recovery, not involving unions and making lists of comments from what is probably a very stressed and overworked colleague. You are ill. She is overworked. Concentrate on getting better so you can have more quality of life and return to work.

You've got a manager who needs to think about how what they say lands with people. I would log it with HR that you felt that it was being insinuated that you were at it. That sort of comment is well out of order.
Chances are you won't be well enough to go back for that week, and then you'll end up needing to get your annual leave moved if you are off sick during it.

You are absolutely right that she shouldn’t have said this but in my experience it’s a reflection of what people usually think in these circumstances - they just don’t usually say so. Absence can be hard for the rest of a team. That’s not your fault but it’s not hers either.

I would focus on your recovery. I wouldn’t add any further stress into the mix here nor dwell on this if you can help it. Put it down to a clumsy and thoughtless comment. Wishing you well.

For a deputy manager, she is a cunt.

At a bare minimum, you should launch a grievance on her for harassment, levelling spurious allegations at you re attendance (the prebooked leave has fuck all to do with her or this sickness).