Attention Ruining Habits

[Gffbjjgfddbjkkm]

Are we ruining our own attention spans?

My friend and her two teenage DC, who we're currently on holiday with, have just 'self-diagnosed' has having ADHD, but all do these things:

• Subtitles on online video and TV, so audio doesn't need to be focused on
• Paragraphs being AI summarised
• Phone scrolling during conversations
• Conducting multiple online chats/reactions at the same time - very rapid switch between chats
• Constantly seeking photo opps - living for the next social media post, rather than in the moment
• Ongoing reviewing and judgement of selfies and social media reactions to their posts

My friend (we met fifteen years ago at a book club) has brought two books with her to read on the beach, but said that she's only managed to get through a few pages because of ADHD.

Before anyone accuses me of being bitchy, I'm not bothered that they behave this way at all. That's their business and it's not affecting our solid friendship.

I'm just thinking that people's attention spans are bound to be affected by these 'quick hit' habits, which seems ubiquitous. AIBU?

I agree OP

I’m especially worried about the effect on kids who have all these quick hits from an early age. I can feel my own attention span has been affected and I didn’t even grow up with it.

although I think your last two bullet points are more about social media “didn’t happen unless it was shared and liked” culture than attention span

We stayed at a very posh hotel last weekend. At breakfast every table with children included a screen. The family right beside us had three little girls each with a phone/ipad and they were eating like zombies while watching.

We are ruining childhood.

I don’t understand the subtitles thing. Surely you have to concentrate more to follow what is going on?

I’m hoping that one day seeing a child with a screen would elicit the same reaction as seeing a child with a cigarette or a can of beer.

Completely agree, this wonderful device in my hand has wrecked my attention span as a middle aged adult, goodness knows what they do to toddlers

I agree with the scrolling - I think our brains are being rewired, and it’s really worrying for those who are growing up with this and I cannot believe it isn’t linked with an increase in ADHD diagnoses. My ability to concentrate is not what it used to be (I’m in the middle of reviewing a document and have reached for my phone to post here) - but I also think it’s because it’s so much harder now everything is on screens. It’s much easier to focus on paper for me.

I don’t agree with the subtitles - sometimes I just struggle to process what people are saying and the subtitles mean I can pay better attention. I’m more inclined to be distracted without the subtitles on. But I put that down to a lifetime of living with an extremely noisy husband and so I’m now able to turn my ears/auditory processing skills off, but find it quite hard to keep them turned back on!

@Malvala

last summer I stayed at an expensive hotel and they had a sign at the entrance to the dining room saying that “respectfully we request all mobile devices to be turned off whilst using this space” when a family sat down and promptly got out an iPad sound on,the maitre d came over with a copy of the sign, a booklet of colour and puzzles and a selection of pencils and crayons, the family huffed and puffed then left saying how can kids be expected to eat without an iPad … I politely said to her that my kids managed just fine as they hadn’t been invented, didn’t go down well but they were disturbing the lovely atmosphere

I find it frustrating when people self-diagnose, as my DH and DC have clinical ADHD and it can sometimes take away from their struggles if "everyone + nextdoor's dog" also has the diagnosis.

The subtitles thing is a product of shit TV technology. The old massive sets used to have decent speakers. Nowadays you're supposed to have a separate sound bar and subwoofer thing to hear clearly.

Agree with you OP (except the subtitles, I have a large sitting room and cant hear the TV properly without turning the volume up quite high)

I find when I am on the phone/laptop scrolling a bit, I struggle to read my book later. I am a massive book worm, I always have a couple of books on the go but definitely find scrolling affects my ability to concentrate. Its like my mind starts to wander and I need additional stimulation.

I seriously dread to think what it does to children.

I am very strict with screens for my children, they are not allowed to carry their phones around with them as the temptation to look at them is too much. They leave their phones in the kitchen. My DS 14 is gone with his dad today to do a few jobs and I see his phone on the counter, it wouldnt occur to him to bring it with him as he is so used to not having it on his person.

I think subtitles help as they make you focus visually, instead of listening which then means you can pick up your phone/whatever other distraction and zone out of the telly. I like to watch foreign language programmes for this reason, so I have to pay attention and I'm only looking at one screen instead of two!

I'm very addicted to my phone, lose vast amounts of time to scrolling and hate myself for it but I've tried various apps or ways to stop and just can't. Apps are cleverly designed to give us dopamine hits that make them hard to turn off.

I don't know if phones have affected my attention span, it was terrible already, but I do find I can't do anything else without reaching tor it, and I obviously couldn't do that pre-phones. I would never be on my phone while speaking to someone else, that's just rude and a massive bugbear of mine!

Maybe I'll try for a phone-free weekend this weekend. I've tried before and find it so so hard, but I hate how dependant I am on it!

I don't think the last couple of bullet points are ADHD-related, maybe more social conditioning.

Enjoy the rest of your hol!

The reason I mention subtitles is regarding those who are not hard of hearing, but so that they can keep 'half an ear' on it. I've watched my friend and her children at home - TV on and scrolling at the same time.

I suppose it could be argued that this is multi-tasking, but they need to keep pausing and rewinding the TV because they miss so much.

Btw, I'm addicted to my phone, sadly!

Totally agree, my children have no concept of adverts because streaming apps like netflix take that away. I feel people have limited patience, and social skills are definitely less developed than say 15 years ago.

We don't take ipads to dinner, we have a 7 and a 4 year old. We draw, talk, do lego and take a card game. Eating out is a treat so why wouldn't I want all of us to be present during that time.

Plus hard agree with a previous poster too around clinical ADHD diagnosis. My son was diagnosed at 6, within an hour. When people say they're slightly ADHD it riles me, I don't feel it has the same acknowledgment as other disabilities. Yet it can be so limiting at times.

I’ve just got back from a holiday in France and I noticed that the French and Germans weren’t on their phones in restaurants and cafes, it was just the Brits and Americans.
Apparently the plunge in young people’s mental health is an Anglophone thing not seen to the same degree in the rest of Europe. I wonder if these things might be related.