Should I raise this with childminder?

[SMLSML]

Can't work out if I'm overreacting or worrying too much...

My little girl is 4 and starting school in September. For the holidays we've been putting her in a childminder. She normally goes to preschool so is used to mixing with other kids.

For the last half term she's enjoyed it however this week she's come home a bit subdued and not herself. At bed time tonight she mentioned how some of the boys had been saying things like she can't play with them because she's a girl and can't go into the den and things like that. All the other children who go are boys. I totally understand kids don't always get what they mean but she said the last two days have been like it. I've said to her to let the childminder know when this happens but she's said things haven't changed. Would you raise it with the childminder? She's not herself and got a little teary and upset about it and was also hesitant at drop off this morning 😢 she's still too young for holiday club and finding a childminder I liked was difficult enough to begin with so don't really have any alternatives 😩 looking for advice and a handhold I guess on whether it's worth bringing up 🥺

Yes please do, I'm a cm and would welcome this raised politely.

Of course you should talk to the child minder

I would definitely bring that up and make the child minder aware so she can guide the boys accordingly.

Definitely bring it up. I wouldn't hesitate.

Oh poor wee girl. Yes Mum you must talk to the child minder. Your girl is only little and those boys are bullies.

Why on earth wouldn’t you mention it the first time it happened?

‘just to let you know childminder that DD was very teary last night because she said the older boys wouldn’t play with her because she’s a girl’

It’s factual, not accusatory… you are just relaying what DD has told you. If you can’t do this because it is likely the childminder will kick off and no longer childmind your DD then she’s an awful volatile human who should not be looking after children.

Absolutely tell the childminder. Sometimes things happen while the childminder is with another child or making a snack or helping a child in the bathroom; they can’t be everywhere at once, just as a mum with multiple kids can’t.

My wonderful childminder would like this to be raised with her. She would talk to the kids, keep a closer eye out for a while, keep the boys and girls separated in different activities when she is prepping snacks etc.

If the childminder doesn’t know, then they can’t nip it in the bud before it becomes a bigger thing.

I'm surprised the childminder hasn't noticed and nipped this behaviour in the bud already. You're not overreacting, please do bring it up. Just mention what your daughter has told you and ask if anything can be done to make her feel more included, before it knocks her confidence.