To ask what little joys you find in life?

[PeapodBurgundy]

I've got myself into a little rut of self pity and can't seem to get myself out of it. Objectively things are tough at the moment, but I find myself jumping to the negative in everything, which isn't helping matters.

My usual go-to pick me ups genuinely are off limits for a period of time, but I know this will pass and things will start to fall back into step again.

I need to start focusing on the positives more. What little things do you see/do that give you that little moment of joy or satisfaction?

Today's 'happy' has been the TAAT of the batshit AIBU threads some people have posted. I could be much worse!

flowers
my dog
the birds
something good on the TV

When the weather is hot I often buy a four-pack of ice creams for me and DD (about £1, and cheaper than two individual ice creams). I give away the other two to the first two people we meet on the way out of the shop. DD is happy, two random people are happy, and I feel happier for improving someone else’s day a little bit.

First coffee of the day

Love that! Going to do that!

My first coffee each morning
My kids making me laugh
A good book
Deep cleaning a room and tidying it - then enjoying it

I did buy a new bird feeder a couple of weeks ago, I only watched it for about two days. I really should make the effort to sit out a bit and enjoy it. The fresh air will do me the world of good as well instead of festering inside

This is an excellent idea. We have plans for a picnic in the park tomorrow. We can walk into the village the the Heron and do this while we're out. What a nice thought.

I downloaded a new cleaning app to track my jobs, and have done nothing with it. I will put it on the agenda for tomorrow when we get home. Tidy house, tidy mind and all that :-)

The sun is out and my kids are happy.
cup of tea out of a nice mug.
I rescued a swift from inside today and got to hold it while it shook itself out and flew off. Like holding magic.
menopause means I don’t need to wash my hair every day
i always try to list five good things before bed. Hardy ever don’t find them. Always helps.

Clean sheets
Listening to the geese honking as they fly overhead
Making a little bit of an effort with meals - bagels, cream cheese and salmon for breakfast.
The dogs absolute delight in being given a treat or new toy
Our boiler has been playing up but was fixed yesterday so a hot shower was blissful.
This one sounds weird but taking pictures of the sky - I have an Instagram account of sky pictures - makes me stop and look and see the beauty
Walking barefoot on grass or the beach
Tidying My house. I’m naturally messy, so this summer am making a real effort to declutter and tidy. I’ve only done two rooms so far but it’s giving me huge pleasure and I’m looking forward to living with less

My 3pm hot drink with a biscuit (or two 😁)
a quick nana nap
going for a walk

I bought a journal a while back with a view to noting down the positives, and steps I could take to manage the negatives. Again, I have done nothing with it. I will make the effort to start that today.

My husbands cooking
An after work coffee and biscuits
Walking my dogs and watch them happily run around
A good tv series

A relaxing bath
Sitting in my garden with a cup of tea
At nightly glass of port

I am making the effort to get outside more while we're off for the summer holidays. We have a few low-key outings planned. I'm rubbish at taking pictures, yet always enjoy looking back over the ones I do take. I will be mindful to try and take some of the nice bits of our day.

Fresh, line dried sheets are one of my favourite things. Disgusting admission, but mine are overdue a change. DS wets through every night (SEND) so I haven't been bothered with more bed changing, but you are right. Fresh sheets are lovely, and I always sleep better the first night.

Currently drinking gin and tonic with series one of Ab Fab on in the background. All is good.

I have always been a very early riser-and I always go and sit outside with a cup of tea at sunrise. It really starts my day well. I do Wordle and Connections at the same time-which can sometimes bring my mood down a bit!

My kids
My dog - sometimes I just look at him sitting next to me and think omg you are SO cute
country walks and pub lunches with my walking group
lunch with friends
going into London for the day, I love London and lucky to live 30 mins train journey away. Sitting in St James Park or walking along the South Bank makes me happy.

Feeding the birds and the hedgehogs. Lots of flowers. Long walks in the countryside. Going to the beach. Walks by the river and the canal.

Thanks for all of the comments so far. I'm genuinely feeling a little more level already having some concrete ideas that I know will pick up my mood over the next few days.

I've let myself get into bad habits, and have stopped trying to help myself. I know these things are simple, but I feel like I just needed to be reminded.

Try downloading the Merlin bird app on your phone. I am not all that interested in birds, but this has me absolutely hooked. I use it every day and although most of the time I can't see them it makes me realise how many are around.

Thank you for this tip, off to download it now

Audiobooks (free to download) from Borrowbox
Books
Good coffee / tea in a nice mug
Journalling in a beautiful book with a fountain pen
Feeding the birds

I’m not sure this will be helpful to you, but on the off chance. I’m autistic. Some ND people (and possibly people with chronic illness iirc) think about their energy levels in terms of spoons. You have x spoons a day and you learn/try to accept your limitations - so if on a given day you have played with your child, tidied one drawer/put the shoes away, answered one email - whatever items from the inevitably endless to do list you have done - it’s ok to acknowledge what you have achieved and then stop, rather than pushing on and on until you risk burning out.

I rolled my eyes big time when I first read about this, but actually over time I realised that I was guilty of writing a ridiculous to do list, actually accomplishing a fair amount, and then beating myself up because I hadn’t done every last thing. And (though it wasn’t the goal) slowly over time I have gained energy back from not beating myself up so much.

Maybe just thinking about the positives is where you are at now, rather than a commitment to journaling which becomes another obligation/failure. Or taking pleasure in a walk to the park, a coffee or a biscuit.

Please take care of yourself. You may be being quite hard on yourself.

Try as many things that are as new to you as possible. They can just be as simple as walking a different way at lunchtime or cooking something new or trying a food you have never had before or identifying a tree or a cloud you haven't seen before. It is the newness and curiosity that is really good for you.

Also get outside and move as much as possible.