To get your opinions on this Mo Gilligan 'deadbeat dad' situation?

[youreactinglikeafunmum]

Celebrity gossip, sorry

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-14957989/amp/Mo-Gilligan-blasted-mother-secret-love-child-claimed-welcoming-baby-long-term-girlfriend.html

Mo Gilligan, the comedian and host of the Brit Awards, has a child with a woman. The boy is 18 months old. He doesn't want to be his dad and isnt around or financially supporting

Hes now married to a 'classier looking' woman (tiktok's words) and she is having his child

The scorned woman says that she was harassed by his solicitor during her pregnancy with his oldest son, isnt receiving money from Mo and that his family havent bothered with their son since the revelation that Mo's current wife is pregnant, in March.

What are your thoughts? I love a good man bashing sesh but I actually think that the mother should sue him for child maintenance and move on with her life

If it were me, I wouldn't be worrying about the relationship and wouldve tried to avoid going public, seeking only financial support and raising the child myself.

Can understand why the woman is upset though, and completely get her posting the video

She talks for 5 minutes on a tiktok video, easy to find x

That’s really sad.

I think she'll probably regret bringing so much attention to herself because the public can be unkind but at the same time why not call him out. As a public figure he's only as good as his reputation and if everyone is seeing him as the 'nice guy' yet he isn't capable of being decent then why not.
As an adult you know what you're going into if you have sex with someone and at the very least he could have decided ok I don't want to be in this child's life but I will pay child support.
I do think it's an interesting conversation from another point though, I'm pro-choice but I suppose in some ways women do get a choice in whether to have a child but men don't and I'm not saying it shouldn't be that way but it is a weird thing.

Completely agree

Men usually have a choice over making sure they don't risk impregnating someone. As that can be the sole point of choice on their part I'm slightly surprised they don't take it more seriously.

(Not commenting on this specific situation - more the general point made by pp!)

He absolutely should support his child.

Thankfully he has no choice in the matter.

Completely fair point, he should've, in the words of a terrible man, 'put something on the end of it then'

I just think what's the point, your son will know mo doesn't love him 🤷‍♀️

I think it’s very unfair for us to judge this situation as we are only seeing and hearing about her side of the story. Unless I’ve missed something?

On the other hand having been in her shoes I do understand but I’m also on the side of the dad

I got pregnant during a brief relationship, we had discussed kids and he was dead set against having more. I had accepted I would never have my own (age and being single and not keen to be a single mum or rush things).
Despite having an IUD in place I became pregnant. Only finding out after the relationship had ended. I made the decision to keep the baby without consulting BD about the pregnancy. When I told him he was against me keeping it, despite me saying I was happy to do it alone. He did ‘ come round ‘ which I use in the loosest possible terms said he couldn’t imagine not being involved in his child’s life. One minute keen to know everything and the next wouldn’t hear from him at all. I made the decision eventually and told him to stay away. I was getting hurt and the inconsistency wasn’t reassuring me about his intentions of being a dad. He threatened me with lawyers etc and I knew realistically he could do nothing until the baby was here and would be a long drawn out expensive process for him. I do believe kids deserve to know both parents.

I also think that it’s unfair on a man to be forced to support a child that they have made clear at the start they want nothing to do with. Would I chase that man for money because I was selfish and decided to go ahead, no. It’s very different if he’s been around and keen for the pregnancy.

at the end of the day it’s a woman’s right to choose to abort/continue and a man gets no say in this. Which is completely how it should be but I also believe that if a man decides he wants no part of the child’s life at the stage of early pregnancy then he shouldn’t be forced to pay child maintenance. As a women we make the choice about the pregnancy but we also make the choice about telling partners etc so for anyone thinking but dads have a right to be a single dad because mums not interested the woman doesn’t have to share the pregnancy if abortion is right for her with the baby dad or anyone else. It’s also a dangerous time for a woman.

if a man makes it clear from that start he doesn’t want to be involved and walks away from the relationship and the baby then the woman yeah can be upset but she also has to respect his decision as well as him respecting hers.

He should support his child. Perhaps this should have been a private matter, he is not a lawmaker, or making public comments that are derogatory about other men in the same position.

I kind of see what youre saying at some points although

I love to judge 😭😭 its literally my whole purpose on mumsnet

And I don't think its selfish to have the baby in such a situation - i just think its unfair for the baby to force a man to be in their lives when he doesn't want to. The child will know and will feel worse, imo, than being raised in a loving home where hes wanted with his mum

I 100% think a man should be forced to pay child maintenance though

I live to judge too but I’m also honest maybe too honest times

I don’t agree with a man being forced to pay child maintenance if he has been open and honest from the start about not wanting to go ahead with the pregnancy. Yes I know it takes 2 to tango and yes contraception should have been used but none are 100% effective and women that decide to keep the baby despite a man saying he wants no involvement should make this decision without the man having to pay. They should however be forced to pay when the pregnancy has been planned, discussed AND he’s on board from the start. I think it’s a very unfair system as a woman has the right to decide what happens with the pregnancy and baby so the man should have the decision to walk away. The only way this would happen is a legal agreement at the time of early pregnancy or written proof from the mother and father stating she is aware he wants no part of the child’s life and him signing away any parental responsibility.

when I made my choice to go ahead with the pregnancy i made it with the understanding if I was doing it alone I wanted nothing from BD and did make that clear to him too.

in an ideal world yeah a child would have both parents together or both parents very much involved in the child’s life. In reality though the majority of the time the best interests of the child are being with one parent if the other doesn’t want to be a parent. Forcing contact will just cause resentment and an unhappy child as they will feel unloved from the absent parent or pushed aside when they are older and the parent is forced to spend time with them

For those saying the man shouldn't be forced to pay if he didn't want to the child - who should? The tax payer? Because they certainly didn't get a say in it either.

Men should pay for their children. I wouldn't force a relationship with a man who clearly didn't want one but I would force them to pay unless I could have a comfortable life without any kind of state support

I don’t have all the answers about who should pay when it comes to dads not paying and I’m in the camp of the man shouldn’t pay if he’s been clear from the outset of the pregnancy that he wants nothing to do with the baby. Doesn’t matter the circumstances of how the pregnancy occurred.

in my situation I won’t chase the man for money, I have a good enough salary to manage on my own without help from the government. When I made the decision to keep the baby I was happy enough doing everything alone and that includes supporting my child.

I do 100% agree though that the absent parent should pay when they are on board with the pregnancy, either planned or unplanned and even if they walk away half way through or when the baby is born or later as the baby gets older.

Years ago, I would have agreed that his actions were abhorrent and that he should see/support the child. Things have really, really changed though.

These days, women are entitled to “your body your choice” and therefore they can choose to terminate a pregnancy without the father’s consent or knowledge. I am just wondering why, if a woman is allowed to terminate a man’s baby without his consent or knowledge, why this doesn’t work the other way around - why should a man be forced to pay for a baby that he has indicated that he wants terminated? It’s her body her choice, she chose to have the baby when he didn’t want to, so she should need to bear the consequences of this choice.

I’m very sceptical about this because a man of his calibre and access to the amount of money he does could surely make some kind of NDA or silently send her maintenance money if he didn’t want this hanging over his head. It would literally be petty cash to him. So I feel like there must be more to the story than just the one side.

It's never going to be fair because biology isn't fair.

How can men be forced to pay when it is planned? Especially if they simply deny it was planned just to get out of paying?

Men know when they have sex that if a pregnancy happens, they won't have the final say. It shouldn't come as a surprise to them and should make them extra careful if they don't want to become fathers.

Men need to take some responsibility and if they do father a child, of course they shouldn't be forced to have a relationship with them if they don't want but they absolutely need to pay. The child exists and both parents are responsible financially.

7% of one’s salary, whatever they earn, is hardly petty cash.

I just did a quick CM calculator based on what he said his pay check was in one of his interviews - it would be just over a grand a month. I think that’s pretty petty for him.

That's fine in your case, you can afford not to chase the dad. I work with someone who says she has too much pride to ask the father of her children for money but happily tells us how much she get in UC and refuses to accept the state should not be funding her misplaced pride. I'm not anti the UC system, my father abandoned us as children and didn't pay a penny regularly so we would have starved without benefits.

I'm not judging Mo based on this one sided story, I've always liked the guy and he gained my respect when he drew attention to the statistics around black women and childbirth by donating his Brits fee a few years back. However i remain firm in my belief fathers should pay for the children they created.

This is exactly what I was trying to say but you said it much better than I did.

How they would put this into action though I have no idea. The only thing I can think of is some sort of legal document that the mother and father both have to sign. Him saying he wants no part of the pregnancy or baby and her saying she accepts this and is and will raise the baby alone

A man should be forced to pay imo because the child is alive - you can prevent pregnancy by wearing a condom, the woman will spend the rest of her life dedicated to the child you contributed to 🤷‍♀️

You cant force a relationship though, and shouldn't try tbh imo - I still judge him but its horrible to have a 'dad' who just doesn't want you

Agree with pp, mo is rich 😭😭 why has he not paid and got an nda

I’m confused. I couldn’t find in the article any information about Mo not financially providing for his child.

The mother states that Mo doesn’t see the child consistently. No information about DNA tests, CMS, lawyers etc.

So clearly not 50:50 parenting but that doesn’t mean that Mo isn’t providing for the child financially.

There’s got to be more to this story.

Did I just see him post a story on instagram of him playing connect four with a child? Is it this child in question?