DH being unreasonable

[Spacemoonpf]

I’ve been with DH for ten years. We both have kids from previous but none together. So this past weekend we planned to out for a meal with the kids. He decides to get drunk before we went out at 7pm. He starts blasting the music sooo loud and I couldn’t concentrate properly while I was driving. So I started turning down the volume and he started hitting my hands badly I actually swayed to the next lane. When we got to the restaurant, kids asked him to leave (I had a meal with the kids) and they called his parents (grandparents) to report as they weren’t happy.

next day he pretends like nothing ever happened- small talk etc. Them yesterday I said let’s talk. We started talking and it got heated from both sides. He kept using trigger words like ‘it’s not like I hit you hard on the face’ and that triggered me as he kept gas lighting. (He’s hit me once before -10 years ago and nothing since)

Today he’s acting like nothing happened- he won’t even approach to start the conversation

AIBU to just have silence treatment? He’s expecting me to go to him and talk things out as I always initiate

He got drunk and physically attacked you as you were driving. Thinks its ok becuase THIS TIME it wasnt in the face.. and you think the solution is the silent treatment?

YABU for silently accepting this. Im not usually one for this but LTB

The fact the kids are telling on him to their grandparents says a lot too

Ummm..ok, so many things wrong here. He was drunk, caused you to swerve while driving and was such an arse the children organised for his parents to take him home. You have way bigger problems than who makes the first move to resolve this. Why would you want to? You don't have joint children, no ties. Show him the door. Your kids do not need this belligerent, aggressive drunken twat in their lives.

Be done.

Your kids have had it with him.

He was hitting you while you were driving with your kids in the car.

That mofo should be gone.

When my exh was a dick on the car I filed for divorce

He drove us whilst drunk. Nearly killed us all.
Ime day that could en a situation you find yourself in op.
Ltb and don't look back

It sounds as though he has contempt for you. This doesn't sound normal or healthy and your kids have better boundaries and expectations than you do.

Kick him out. Get some counselling.

Your poor children.
He put their lives at risk.
How have you not reported this to the police?
God forgive you for tolerating this.

This is a police matter.
He is a violent drunken thug who risked the lives of your children.

Unbelievable.

YABU, but YABU for just 'giving him the silent treatment' rather than throwing him out.

I'm not one to lightly tell someone to 'ltb' but, seriously ?
He thinks it is okay to hit you as long as it isn't your face ?????

You lost me though at the bit where you said he got drunk before going out for a meal. You sort of mentioned that in passing, like that isn't the bit that is bothering you.

You seem to have been conditioned into thinking that is acceptable or normal behaviour.

How long has he had a drink problem ?

I am truly not one for LTB, but LTB.

Silent treatment is not the answer. Having some pride in yourself and dealing with this useless oaf is.

He risked your children’s lives and you want to respond with the silent treatment.

do your children have a 2nd parent? If so, they should go live with that parent until you are ready to clean house.

You should not be making them live with a violent drunk.

Are you in a position to leave him OP?

YABU for staying with this abusive arsehole for 10 years.

Report the assault in the car to the police and then ditch the drunken twat.

He is treating you and your children with contempt and he put the lives of all of you, and other road users, in danger.

Do you own the property you live in? Or is it rented? Make plans for how to leave him.

Title should be DH an out of control drunk

OP wise the hell up this idiot could have killed you and your children and you think silence treatment is the answer.

I voted YABU because what the hell are you doing with him? He got drunk before you went out for a meal with the kids? I would have left him behind, I wouldn't want him drunk around my kids (or his!) The hitting your hands while driving is extremely dangerous, and with children in the car!! I would have pulled over and told him to get out.

Seriously, you need to end this relationship. This man is a waste of space.

So, your poor kids had to be the adults in the situation and ask him to leave. Poor them.