Teen called out other teen … AIBU to think they were right.

[broadmoon]

My 15 year old daughter called her 16 year old cousin greedy in a mean tone.
My dilemma is that her cousin actually is greedy and very mean with her money, yet expects and accepts everyone else to share and buy her stuff but never returns the favour.
claims she can’t afford to despite having plenty of pocket money.
I was embarrassed but my daughter is not lying but it was the argument that I’m embarrassed about. She was very mean spirited in her tone.
fThis week for example her cousin bought herself some sweets and nothing for my daughter yet would have a stroppy fit of the same was done to her.
I also bought lots of meals and drinks for my niece in law and she always chose the most expensive things. Again, won’t buy those for herself nor others who are generous to her.
I feel
proud of my Daughter for finally speaking g the truth and calling her out when yet again she refused to share anything but unhappy with the way she expressed herself( it was an argument that her cousin flatly tried to get out of and shout down)
AIBU to feel like this?

The daughter of your husband’s brother is your niece. It’s also weird to take someone out for a meal but have expectations on what they’re allowed to order.

It does sound like a 'last straw' situation for your daughter.

I wouldn't be upset with my DD in that situation. I would speak to her privately about getting points across more constructively, that's all.

I actually think it is fine for your DD to work out a nice way to tell her cousin that sharing is a two way street.

Perhaps next time DD has something to share she can offer it to Cousin by asking (something like) , ‘So are we sharing our snacks with each other or keeping to our own?’ If Cousin accepts from DD but then refuses to reciprocate, DD can do the same, reminding her of the broken agreement. I actually think Cousin needs to learn this lesson

If Cousin’s expensive tastes strain your finances at all, you should ask her parents to tell her to order from the middle of the menu. I would also ask them to speak with her if she is ordering more than she can eat. Otherwise I would suck this one up, whilst feeling very glad my DC knew better