Am i being petty about a car seat

[ipickedupapen]

My SD had a boy about 3 years ago, we were going to have him regularly so i bought a decent car seat - which she started borrowing after she got a car and i never got it back, don't even think she still has it. Roll on 3 years, another baby boy for which she has a new car seat, but now wants to borrow the seat I bought for the older one for in my car. AIBU to be pissed off DH said sure and just had a go at me for saying make sure I get it back.

This makes no sense. She never gave you it back but now she wants to borrow it?

Well technically you’re not being unreasonable, but if you’re more comfortable financially I’d be inclined to just let it slide to be honest. If you have a good enough relationship for it to be worth you buying a car seat then I’d prioritise that. If you’re in a position to be generous you could offer to buy her a new car seat as a gift. While she shouldn’t just take it, I have a feeling demanding it back could spark a falling out you would later regret.

I don’t understand, she wants to borrow a car seat that she didn’t return? All you have to say is ‘we don’t have it as you didn’t return it’.

If my sd was struggling for a car seat I would buy her one. If not affordable for me to buy another I would move the one I bought between the two cars.

If she has plenty of money then I would ask for it back when kids next at my house and be a bit annoyed but wouldnt be worth saying anything.

But she didn't return it. So just tell her that. She still has it somewhere, or she has got rid of it by other means.

I think people are confused. The OP bought a car seat to take her SD’s kid out. The SD didn’t return it. the OP has bought ANOTHER seat. The SD wants to take the new one having never returned the previous one.

Tell her to bugger off OP. Your husband sounds like a wet wipe.

This might be a misunderstanding. You bought a car seat for your car for her little boy to use, she might have just interpreted as a car seat bought for her little boy and not understood the distinction that it was to stay in your car.

Obviously if she never gave it back she can't borrow it again but nobody is necessarily being unreasonable just mismatched expectations.

I can't see where she says she bought another car seat. She just talks about the one.

SD and partner are shit parents and breaking the law if they do not have a car seat.

Are they poor and unable to save the money for a seat or is there something else going on?

If you/DH have the children in your car on a regular basis I would get DH to gift SD a new seat. She has an cf expectation that your property is hers to expect it when the seat is basic child care equipment.

I bought another one, next stage up

I bought the next stage up to replace it

how often do you have the dc? What does she expect you to use then?

It's never worth "lending" to the unreliable.

No - And you need to take the pettiness further.

You presumably need it because you provide childcare / take the kids out.

I'd just give the seats to her.

And every. single. time she will need to manually move and refit the car seats. You don't even touch them because "you aren't sure exactly how to do it and you couldn't live with yourself if it was fitted incorrectly"
Weaponised incompetence has its place.

As an FYI you shouldn't have to buy any carseats. I bought both the ones in my mothers car for her because she's kind enough to occasionally pick up my kids.

How can she borrow it if she never gave it back! 🤨🤨

I bought another, next stage up

Lend her it. If she wants you to have the ds she needs to bring the seat with her and fit it into your car. Likely dh will do this for her..
Because you know despite having 2 dc she is still a dc /young /upset over the divorce/came from a broken home/needs her arse wiping... ..