For the shopping use a large handbag with a cross body strap. Or a backpack. To put the food in. You'll have to shop at the local shop which may be more expensive but that's life.
If the only health issue is you're on crutches you're not going to get PIP for that or be signed off as unfit for work. If you have a job and can't currently do it, ask your GP to sign you off then your employer will claim statutory sick pay for you. If you're renting, have few savings and SSP is your only income, you can claim UC housing element to help with the rent for the time you're off work.
I always made sure my kids had food clothes and a roof over their heads
This describes my childhood too. Unfortunately I didn't have love, safety, privacy, autonomy over my own body or medical care as necessary and was emotionally/physically abused. The food was fine but the clothes were second hand, unfashionable and I got bullied for it. The house was so cold I cried and a few times I set myself on fire by accident huddling too close to the one bar on the gas heater we were allowed to run for ten minutes of a morning. I grew up in poverty whilst parents hoarded money in the bank. So when I hear phrases like the one above I know how meaningless it can be. It's a bare-bones-parenting phrase. Not even adequate parenting, if that's where the parenting ends. It's really not, in itself, a cause for a pat on the back.
The oldest child was 14 then when you entered an abusive relationship. The relationship isn't your fault and not realising you were in it isn't your fault. Some people never manage to leave. So well done for that. But none of this has anything to do with how your children feel. They don't have to make allowances for it if they don't want to.
That relationship impacted their childhood and may have impacted their adulthood too, that's time they can't get back, damage they can't necessarily undo.
When you're in an abusive relationship your attentions will naturally be focused on your abuser, it's a survival mechanism. It means though, that your attentions aren't focused primarily on your children, which they should be. As a result of being emotionally abused yourself, you'll inevitably have (at best) emotionally neglected your children yourself, as well as possibly acting as an enabler of his abuse towards them or (at worst, in the case of some parents) joined in with abusing them in a side-with-the-bully-to deflect-harm-from-yourself type of situation.
The 14yr old would have had to sharply grow up all of a sudden due to this. They've focused on building their own life. The younger children would have been even more messed up from this situation, because your inevitable distancing from them would have occurred at a younger age. The younger the child, the more they need their parents and so the more they're harmed by parental neglect. An apology doesn't fix any of this. By all means give it freely, which it sounds as though you have done, but don't expect it to wipe the slate clean or to be forgiven. That's entirely their decision. Your children did not come through this unscathed.
When people grow up neglected they become unnaturally independent, excessively so, because they had to to survive. As a result, they may not recognise the state of needing help in others. After all, they had to survive with no help when they needed it, so they know it can be done. They may be taking a similar approach with you now, expecting you to sort your own problems without their assistance. Not out of nastiness or as punishment for the past, but because in their minds that's the way life works - you fix your own problems as best you can and you don't have help. That's the message they received growing up. The concept of needing or asking for help can be an alien concept for people who've grown up like this. So offering help to others isn't necessarily something they'll think to do either.
You mentioned a 30yr old and the abusive relationship being 20yrs. So present in her life from age 10? DD could be carrying a lot of resentment. At 30 does she also have her own children? Single parent? Co-parenting with an ex? A job? Partner (and is that a healthy or abusive relationship)? Social life? Does she have a nanny, cleaner, gardener etc or is she doing it all herself? Pets? Time consuming hobbies? I can well imagine a 30yr old with barely any free time, wanting and needing weekends to recharge after the working week and maintain their own relationships. Effectively amounting to having no space in her life for caring duties towards a parent, regardless of how close she lives. Maybe there's a discrepancy between what "visiting more often" means to you and to DD. It's not necessarily going to equate to visiting at a particular time because you happen to need care. Maybe the next few weeks are busy for her. It's not her fault or her problem that you ended up in hospital at this time. It's also not necessarily going to equate to caring duties. Perhaps she meant visiting more often for fun stuff and as you're not currently up to that she's staying away, giving you space to recover from your health issues. Just because you'd like some help at this time it doesn't necessarily mean she's up for plugging the caring gaps your health situation has created.
I understand this is going to make you feel sad, but I don't think you should conclude that nobody likes you. The chances are that if you put the effort in you'll make friends locally eventually. They still won't necessarily come round and help you out when you're sick though! The worst people don't tend to consider that it's them, they tend to automatically assume it's everyone else. So the fact you're questioning if it's you shows the kind of self awareness that points towards you being at the nicer end of the personality spectrum.
If you don't have any hobbies, get some. Both as a way of meeting people and to give you something to talk about. If you can't afford to join groups then do something free and solo. It all goes towards building a new life for yourself and makes you a more interesting person to be around, as well as acting as a distraction from any negative feelings you're having concerning your family. Regardless of your situation, there's never any point in moping around, you need to find ways to have fun.