He doesn't care about his actions

[Jels789]

I've been dating a guy for 8months. First going off was great, he made an effort, made me feel wanted, made me happy, seemed to care. The last few months I've come to realise he's never kissed me first, unless I kiss him. He's never said I love you first, says I love you too of I say it to him. Sex seems to have gone out the window, it's been weeks. I've asked him why he acts this way, not initiating anything, kissing, saying, doing. He says it's because he's not an affectionate person. Now, this is what confuses me, he was affectionate at the beginning of the relationship, made me feel wanted. Now I feel like a friend, not a girlfriend. I am questioning myself as to why he is the way he is? I think a lot of him, but begining to doubt that I can stay in a relationship where I am shown no affection, going forward. I just keep looking back trying to work out whats gone wrong and why he is now this way with me. He refuses to speak about previous relationships, I wonder if he's this way due to how he's experienced relationships in the past. Anybody else experienced this? How did things get better? Or didn't they?

I would say the first few months were to impress you however you are seeing the real him now . It’s early days if this is not what you want

I agree with the above poster. He knew what he had to do to 'engage' you but now you are seeing the real him, which appears to be indifferent and incompatible to yours.

The first 3-18 months of any relationship is about wooing, impressing, having fun and sex. Then at some point it settles and you begin to get to know each other properly. The person he was at the beginning was an illusion, he did the affection stuff to win your affections (and tbh he hasn’t managed it for very long). Now he has you he doesn’t feel he needs to do that any more. So sensibly you asked him why that changed and he told you . That’s not who he is, this is who he is.

Your choice now is to accept that or move on.