Grandparents treating grandchildren differently

[SMLSML]

Before I start, I'll say we don't expect anything, this is more on how we tell our children as they grow up and start to realize how it's different.

We have a 4 year old and 1 year old. For our eldest's first birthday my in laws set up a bank account for her that had £1k in it and since then have put an amount in each month. It really is so lovely and generous of them.

My youngest was 1 at the start of the month and she got some lovely gifts but they haven't mentioned a bank account or anything. Its totally up to them what they do and as I mentioned we never expect anything, it's more so how do I deal with this if it comes up when both children are older? Has anyone been in this situation before?

Is it possible they've just forgotten about DC1's account, especially if they've aged a bit or the payments are just automatic on a standing order?

I'd get your DP to ask his parents about this one and not get involved myself tbh. In the event they say oh well actually we can only afford to save for DC1, then DP could maybe ask if the same amount can be shared between the 2 children, or if they don't like that idea, they stop the payments altogether?

I wouldn't tolerate the older child getting a load of money on their 18th or whenever and the younger one gets nothing. Even small monthly payments plus a grand will equal a pretty sizeable amount by the time they're old enough to use it.

I would say just split the money yourself between the 2 kids but sounds like in-laws have control of the bank account, not you?