Toxic Ex-Colleague & New Company

[Smallpurpleflowers]

Name changed in case this outs me.

Left my job earlier this year after five years and decided to go freelance. A colleague did the same just after. We work in quite a small industry, where most people know each other or they know someone.

Former colleague, let's call her Louise, was initially okay to work with, with a slight hint of bitchiness. However, as time has gone on, she has became the most bitchy, toxic person I've ever met, who has such a bad attitude, while managing to somehow hide this from managers. She will also badmouth colleagues or twist the truth to make them look bad and to seem better.

We managed to both get some short-term work recently with a company that is one of the biggest and most respected in our field, one which we had both been lucky enough to work for on very short projects previously. Louise started a couple of weeks before me.

On my first day, I said hello to a woman who I knew from before, but who I also knew was now friends with Louise. She was not her usual, friendly self, and I got mostly one word answers. I did not want to ask her if there was anything wrong, I had just decided to continue to be friendly.

Our contracts have both now ended. But I have found out that Louise has some additional work with the company coming up, whereas, even after really positive feedback from my manager at the end of the contract, I don't now receive replies to emails/messages etc.

I suspect that she has said something about me. What would you do if you thought someone was damaging your reputation in any way? She has form for this. My concern is also that I have wanted to work for this company on a more permanent basis for a long time and if Louise is badmouthing me, where she also likes to make herself look like a victim and people are convinced by this, then my chances of ever being employed are nil.

I've never had a situation like this before so would love to know what you would do. I can't outwardly ask, so feel a bit trapped.

Thank you! And sorry for the long post, I didn't want to dripfeed.

You are dealing with someone who thrives on being subtle, manipulative, and deceptive, she will never give you a “smoking gun.” That means you can’t stop her entirely but you can outlast her, outshine her, and make it difficult for people to believe her narrative on you.

If she does this to others too (which sounds likely), it will catch up with her, these sorts tend to self destruct in the long term.

So I would leave it and not bother asking anything. If it becomes too difficult, get away from her with another job.

Sit it out and remain professional. She will show her true colours in time and they'll likely come back to you. It's not pleasant, I've had it done to me. If the organisation is as good as it sounds, they will soon suss her out and your professionality now will pay dividends. You probably don't want to be working there while she's flavour of the month in any case! Concentrate on keeping your skills up and build other clientele. Be ready and prepared for if (when?) they come back to you.

Thank you, beelegal. Subtle, manipulative and deceptive really sums her up! A former colleague described her as a slowly dripping poison.

I would never wish anything bad on anyone but this is the one occasion that I wish that it would catch up with her. I'll continue to be myself and hope for the best.

I'm now finished the contract, which is why I'm concerned that I haven't had any contact from anyone when I have emailed etc.

Thank you! She just has a way of being like that and somehow appearing great to management etc. Sorry to hear this has happened to you, how awful. Fingers crossed it all works out!

It was awful at the time, but I was fortunate they'd already shown their true colours elsewhere and I was able to move sideways into a different organisation. I got a lot of support because of the frankly twisted way they tried to destroy me and others previously. Ultimately it worked out better for me and person in question ended up moving to the other side of the country! I like to think because they'd lost face totally round here!

It sucks and is very unjust, but forget this company for the time being. Leaving things open and letting it all play out is the only way. These types always trip themselves up eventually.

Know who your friends are and be careful around those who aren't. Do you have friends in the new place who can help put in positive words with managers?

Why did she also leave your previous company?

My goodness, how awful for you and for the others! Glad to hear they have moved away.

I fear that she will continue to appear like a wonderful employee but hopefully she will show her true colours as she becomes comfortable.

Completely agree with you, thank you. I have one good friend who works there who is always very supportive of my career and has positive things to say about my work and me in general, so I will speak with them without disclosing the situation.

I know someone like this. Does her RL name begin with K by any chance....

It's infuriating.

It was just naturally time to move on for me in terms of my career and opportunities. She believes that it is the same for her, however, she does not have the knowledge and experience that being freelance really requires in our industry. Not a criticism of her, just a fact.

Ha! No it does not! Sorry to hear you have the same wondrous joy of knowing someone like this.

Just bide your time, OP. This will be her downfall; freelancing is tough, you can't hide behind false niceties or blend in as you would in a permanent job. She will be found out eventually, either through her personality or her work. Wishing you all the best.

Thank you. Her work is not to the best standard either, she shrugs off mistakes and doesn't try to learn, and also chooses what she thinks is correct even though there are specific rules to follow in our industry. Her attitude is appalling. But sadly, I've seen others like this who seem to do very well.