Something I dread but am glad after

[coffeegirl73]

Every Wednesday I do some volunteering. All day I am anxious about it and couldn’t sleep last night. There’s nothing to worry about but I can’t help it. I’ll be glad when it’s over in that I’ll be happy I did it but then the anxiety will start to build about next Wednesday. How do I get my brain to chill out and relax!!!

I don't think you're being unreasonable, @coffeegirl73 so I don't understand the post in this forum?

If it makes you anxious, cancel and find something you can be more relaxed about.

Why does it make you anxious?

A technique from CBT is to predict how awful it might be out of ten, before you do this activity. Then re-score it again afterwards. When I've done this it shows that it was never as bad as I'd imagined. Point being, your thoughts are not necessarily accurate and you can challenge them.

If it's causing you that much anxiety I think this outweighs any benefit to you and the organization you volunteer for, and you should quit or find a different role. I volunteer a lot myself and there is sometimes a little nervousness beforehand, usually due to not knowing what to expect, but I wouldn't do it if it caused me to lose sleep.

A lot of things cause me to lose sleep it’s gotten worse over the years - any little
change in routine and I’m up half the night. Even nice things like going away or a night out . Thanks for the tips everyone. My brain just needs to chill out I wish there was an off switch

I like that I’m going to have to give it a try. Thank you.

I like that idea too! From what you've said about your anxiety in general I would disagree with those who say don't go. It's not the volunteering which is the issue, more learning how to deal with the anxiety. You'll only transfer the worry on to something else and reinforce the message to your brain that you 'can't' do stuff.

Another technique is ask yourself what is the worst that will happen and how you'll cope. Who else will also be there to help you cope in that event too. So I run an event sometimes. It's free. The worst that can happen is it doesn't work, we have to cancel etc. But no one will be hurt. Of course someone could be taken ill etc but we have procedures that we follow. It wouldn't be ny fault.

Do you have a lot of autonomy in your life generally OP? I ask because I do, and tend to feel this way about anything that threatens it. I'm only truly comfortable if I know I can do what I want when I want (within reason) and I'm not on the clock to meet a commitment. So things like my two office days a week, or meetings and appointments make me feel slightly anxious. I think it stems from years of very low autonomy, always at the beck and call of someone or something, and hating it. I cope with it by having a get out clause up my sleeve, so if I'm really uncomfortable while doing it, how will I get away. I never have to resort to it, but its good knowing its there. I also think, it's only X amount of hours, then I'll be free again. Like you, I'm fine when I am doing it, it's just the thought of having to.