Should I mind my own business

NuffSaidSam · 29/07/2025 20:26

Both those things sound terrible. Is there anyone closer to them who could have a word?

4naans · 29/07/2025 20:27

I would say something about the grapes. Suggest the solid starts app. They're trying to do blw but you need to know how to do it correctly. The other stuff meh. But in terms of choking I'd say as something.

NoMatch4Me · 29/07/2025 20:36

The grapes are concerning so I would gently make some suggestions on that and other choking hazard foods if they, too, are an issue. The bottle/teat thing i don't really see an issue with, my DD had the same teat since she started bottle feeding until about 6.5 months when she slowly started to get used to the faster flows. However we did use the variflow teat which meant she's able to control/change the flow.

Many parents don't take criticism lightly so I'd try the gentle approach at first. Perhaps try and steer them towards guidelines and risk factors, particularly with food. There are a lot of resources out there that can help and many family hubs do weaning courses now too. They might not listen but you do need to try and safeguard the child the best you can.

Ilovemychocolate · 29/07/2025 20:44

Send them a link to the terrible story of the child choking to death on a whole grape in a Pizza Hut salad bar.
I think about that every time I see a child being given whole grapes…

Endofyear · 29/07/2025 22:44

I thought everyone knew that children can choke on whole grapes. I would definitely tell them that it's dangerous.

MsAmerica · 29/07/2025 23:04

XxLondonxX · 29/07/2025 20:25

Recently a couple who are my close family members had their first baby. They are well educated, supposedly intelligent people but have zero experience with children.

The baby is now seven months old and I keep seeing them do thing that I really think are unsafe or just very strange. E.g. regularly feeding the baby milk in their car seat, giving the baby whole uncut grapes, baby is still on a new born teat/bottle and they feed them little but often which looks like hard work more than anything.

Do I just mind my own business? Are the above not even that bad?! What is the baby choked and I hadn't said anything.

I get that everyone is just muddling through with parenting but they are very easily offended and I know they wouldn't take it well if I expressed a concern or made a suggestion. I tried "would you like me to cut those up for you?" With the grapes and was just met with a frosty no.

Perhaps you should have said, "Would you like me to cut those up for you? I've read that they can result in choking."

Fulbe · 29/07/2025 23:43

I didn't even know about the grape thing until DD1 was 2 years old. Both DCs quite capable of chewing grapes. DD2 even eats nuts confidently, below the 'recommended' age. I would be annoyed if someone corrected me on this and would politely ignore them.

onwards2025 · 29/07/2025 23:56

Fulbe · 29/07/2025 23:43

I didn't even know about the grape thing until DD1 was 2 years old. Both DCs quite capable of chewing grapes. DD2 even eats nuts confidently, below the 'recommended' age. I would be annoyed if someone corrected me on this and would politely ignore them.

Just because they chew them (like the majority of other children do) does not mean they cannot choke on them. At my DC school it's a strict rule for lunchboxes too due to the risks, it only takes a second of distraction mid-grape to happen

whitewinespritzerandastraw · 30/07/2025 04:07

Fulbe · 29/07/2025 23:43

I didn't even know about the grape thing until DD1 was 2 years old. Both DCs quite capable of chewing grapes. DD2 even eats nuts confidently, below the 'recommended' age. I would be annoyed if someone corrected me on this and would politely ignore them.

I don’t think politely ignoring someone on something regarding safety like this is a great idea.

breakfastdinnerandtea · 30/07/2025 07:31

Fulbe · 29/07/2025 23:43

I didn't even know about the grape thing until DD1 was 2 years old. Both DCs quite capable of chewing grapes. DD2 even eats nuts confidently, below the 'recommended' age. I would be annoyed if someone corrected me on this and would politely ignore them.

I didn’t know about the grape thing until mine were much older. Both perfectly fine, quite capable, never had a choking issue. However, if someone had told me that there was a massive risk of choking I wouldn’t have politely ignored them! I’d have been shocked and immediately started cutting them up!
Since then, I’ve trained in airway management and learned that children have a differently shaped airway to adults. It’s more like a funnel, and perfectly shaped for a grape to lodge and completely block it. Why would you even risk it when chopping them is such a simple solution?

cornbunting · 30/07/2025 07:38

Maybe send them a video of the trick where someone cuts lots of grapes at once by putting a plate on top to hold them still.

If you frame it as "I saw this great hack and thought it might be useful to you" you're being helpful rather than critical, and letting them know about choke risk at the same time. Might help the message get through without ruffling feathers.

NewbieYou · 30/07/2025 16:39

I’d mention the grapes next time you see it tbh. I’d leave the other stuff.

BertieBotts · 31/07/2025 20:48

I would leave it alone. You have tried making a suggestion and they weren't interested which means they don't want input.

Whole grapes at 7mo is a bit alarming but the other stuff is no big deal. But also I doubt a 7mo actually has the dexterity to get a grape into their mouth on their own anyway.

Bettysnow · 31/07/2025 21:05

A paramedic I know said he dreads calls where the child has choked on a grape or a burst balloon.
Definitely tell them

Bgasfraudfraud · 31/07/2025 21:16

Definitely highlight choke hazards children die every year from choking.