Please be kind I’m suffering from anxiety right now and have a lot of stress.
context- moved here in this neighbourhood over 2. 5 years ago. Tried to make friends with one of the mums I know from kid activities (let’s call her Bea) but didn’t go well as she was obviously too busy. I tried a few more times with others I saw on my walk and both christmases we been here I have given cards to direct neighbours. I gave up trying to be friendly but since half term May my DD (aged 9) started making friends with lots of other little kids and they have been playing ever since and it’s been lovely as I’ve gotten to know the parents too but all in all I understand it’s my DD’s friends and if I get along with parents that’s a bonus.
I got a knock on the door earlier from Bea - I have seen her for over 2 years so didn’t recognise her! She asked where her daughter was and I told her I have no idea and to try Tia’s (not real name) garden as my daughter is there right now playing.
About an hour ago my DD and and Tia came into my garden and they played. My DD has karate so she left but Tia stayed to play with my baby. Bea’s daughter came into the garden (side gate was unlocked) and I explained my DD is not in and I need to get things done now. Do they both need to leave - I said this nicely not in a blunt way as I’ve written. The mother was hanging around so I said hi to her and explained my daughters not at home.
They went off. As I was taking baby for a walk I bumped into Bea and apologised I didn’t recognise little Bea as I haven’t seen them for a while. She said no problem. I again apologised I didn’t let Little Bea play in the garden but she’s welcome to come anytime my daughter is home. She questioned why Tia was in the garden if my DD not home but I just shrugged and smiled, I have no idea why I did that! Honestly I was relieved little Bea came so Tia left as I felt unable to tell her to leave (I don’t usually but today for some reason I felt bad and let her stay after my DD had left. She only stayed like 10 mins after DD left so not that long )
Did I do wrong to apologise? Little Bea has never played with my daughter before - this was the first time. Was it a weird thing for me not to allow little Bea into my garden when another child was there anyway. Truthfully I just didn’t fancy having to listen to or look out for 2 kids that are not mine - I know this might sound bad but either way my DD I can just let her play as she’s older than them but with these 2 I felt I had to keep an eye out which I didn’t want to. What would you have done?
Also can people advise me on how to go forward. Truthfully I’m okay with the other kids as they are older and the parents just leave them to it but with Little Bea I feel I have to interact with the mum. I’m at a place right now where I just want to be left alone if that makes sense?