I’ve posted before but I don’t know how to link the old thread. Thought I’d write a new one as people weren’t RTFT and I’m feeling so out of my depth today and really don’t know what to do anymore.
DS is 16. We’ve had a lot going on – school refusal, talking to God knows who as his phone is locked down, on his phone all the time and I’m concerned what he’s doing online (a lot of violent porn), risky behaviour, anger, shutting down, and possible grooming when he was younger by an older teen (he was 12, the boy was 17 at the time – ex found out and it’s had a lasting impact). We’ve been trying everything to support him – GP involvement, conversations, plans, even trying to reconnect as a family. His dad came to stay last week to try to help and things seemed a bit more stable by the weekend. We even booked a trip together for later this week to see Hamilton as DS was excited about it.
But it’s been really rough since Sunday when his dad went back home. He’s barely spoken to me since, and when he does, it’s either snapping or shouting. He’s been angry at the smallest things, slamming doors, refusing food, saying I ruin everything. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells every second.
Last night he came downstairs in a mood, already angry because the internet had glitched and the TV app wasn’t loading properly. He started shouting and swearing – called me useless and a bitch and told me he doesn’t want to live with me anymore. Said he’s going to get his own place and when I asked how he thought he’d afford that, he said “I’ll get a boyfriend first, he’ll pay for it.”
I tried to stay calm but then he hit me. Full-on, slapped me across the arm and shoved past me. I’m bruised. He stormed back upstairs and pulled down a big poster on his wall – one he’s had for years – and it ripped. I told him if he didn’t calm down I’d have no choice but to call the police. He shouted that he didn’t care – said at least then he’d be away from me.
I didn’t call. I just froze.
This morning he’s barely come out of his room. He came down briefly and tried to tape the poster back together but couldn’t get it right, so he got upset again, went outside and threw it in the bin. Told me it was my fault it was ruined, said he hates me, and went back upstairs. He hasn’t eaten or spoken since.
I phoned the GP yesterday morning and they’ve booked an appointment but it’s not until next week. I feel so scared. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I love him so much but I can’t live like this. I don’t feel safe in my own home and I’m terrified of what he might do next – to himself or to me.
AIBU to say I can’t cope? What am I meant to do?