to not want to be a Facebook digest for a friend who doesn’t want an account?

[toastofthetown]

My friend deleted Facebook about ten years ago. I’ve kept mine; I don’t post but I follow several local groups and pages, which are by far the most up to date source of what’s going on in our area. Most of these groups have websites or Instagram pages, but they’re rarely updated.

We met up recently, and I mentioned a free baby first aid course I’d done. She said she hadn’t seen it on Instagram and would’ve gone if she’d known. This isn’t the first time she’s missed something local and been annoyed. She asked if I could let her know about events I see on Facebook that might interest her. I said I’d try but now I’m thinking that I really don’t want to be her personal Facebook feed. The groups and pages that are freely accessible to anyone with an account. She’s also asked me to list things for her on Marketplace before, which I refused because it’s too much faff but that was a few years ago and she hasn’t asked since.

I think what’s annoying me is that she’s very vocal about how she’s better off without Facebook, and is happy to give me an extra admin load to stay off there. It’s not a huge job, but it is still admin, and with a baby I’m often checking Facebook at odd hours and won’t remember to pass things on later. I have said that she doesn’t even need friends, she can create a blank profile with no friends or photos, just to follow pages and groups, but she didn’t want to. AIBU to not want to start doing this for her?

Agree! they want to outsource the pain of having social media whilst reaping the benefits. Er, no.

Tell her you always forget so she needs to join if she wants the information.

This is it down the Faceache! I think part of why she doesn’t want to create an account for the local groups is a point of pride because every time Facebook has come up in the last few years she’s derisive of it and doesn’t want to back down on it. But she could easily have an account called Emily Brown, with a profile picture of a random dog from the internet and no one would be any the wiser.

Neither are on Facebook so he can’t do it either. Neither are willing to get a blank account either

Not your problem, OP. You have a big mental load to carry with your own family. It’s not your job to add this task to your mental load.

People who don't post are costing them money rather than earning them. They're not going to let that go on. It's not a free service in the way people think.

Husband has an account that he uses to follow various pages and to see what’s on locally. He has 2 friends neither of them are me 🤣🤣 and uses it to check into places.

There are two ways of dealing with this.

Option 1 is to pretend you don't use Facebook anymore and never mention it again.

Option 2 is to bombard her with annoying messages like, "I saw this underwater basket weaving course for pensioners advertised on Facebook, it's at 3pm on Tuesdays, are you interested? Let me know!!!" and "Someone has offered £1.50 for your BabyBjorn baby carrier, what shall I tell them?"

YANBU and I would find this irritating too.

She’s one of those people who announces they’ve left Facebook and now their life is sooooo much better for it, usually in a very smug way. And then in their next breath they want to know what’s posted on it whether that’s stuff of pages/marketplace or someone’s profile and try to get other people to check for them.

Literally lol’d at option 2 !!

Ah thanks yes this definitely makes sense but hasn’t to date been the impression I’ve got of the site

This would annoy me too, especially the Marketplace stuff.
I know people who are proud of the fact they don't use the internet, but will happily ask others to do all their online stuff for them.

Just say no, or that you are no longer on FB too.

I have said that she doesn’t even need friends, she can create a blank profile with no friends or photos, just to follow pages and groups, but she didn’t want to. AIBU to not want to start doing this for her?

YANBU at all. What you've described is what I have. My family and friends have moved to Snapchat so I have too, and I maintain an FB account with a fake name to join in FB groups.

She has no excuse not to do this.

As long as people enter the site and view things, they are making FB money as they are the product that FB is selling to advertisers. If they are going to delete dormant accounts, it would be those that never log on. It sounds like OP is reading though not posting, so her account isn't dormant.

Exactly, usage is measured on clicks and impressions, not how many pictures you post of Aunt Sarah's tea party.

Whilst I'm not a huge fan of socials, my yoga group, choir and book club all run via FB, so I have an account mainly for that. Its not difficult to have an account just for these purposes. She is a CF

It depends what level of "service" she's imagining. I think it's fine for her to say "Oh if you spot anything you think I'd like I'd be happy to hear about it". As in, if you happen across something feel free to pass it on now and again. I sometimes send stuff on to friends who might be interested, as do they for me. But purely on an ad hoc basis, from time to time.

Definitely not OK if she's expecting it with any regularity or questioning why you didn't share things with her.

I don’t either of you are unreasonable. All she’s done is asked you to let her know if you see something you think she’d be interested in - not asked you to check the groups daily specifically for her. I’d see it as this - if you see an event and you’d have tagged her if she were on Facebook, I’d take a screenshot and send it to her.

At the same time though, you’re not unreasonable for not wanting to take extra time out of your day to do this. So just don’t.

I’ve not come off Facebook, but I’ve stopped using it unless I need something specific so I get why she doesn’t want to create a new account (for me, I was spending hours doom scrolling). I try to only go on once a week. Maybe she found she was wasting too much time on it, but keeping an account was too tempting. If that’s the case, I might feel more inclined to help her out. If, however, she acts like she’s better than you because she doesn’t use it, I might forget to mention a few events.

People do get very funny about Facebook. Post what you want people to know, read what you want to read, skim the rest. Just like email. They talk like it somehow takes your life over.