Would you be offended?

[ellie09]

In recent years, I have put on a couple of stone - I am not massive (about a size 12) but still very conscious of the fact I have gained some weight. Mainly due to a combination of birth control, underactive thyroid and general busyiness of life.

I used to be really trim - a few years back I lost a lot of weight through really hard work and was about a size 6-8. My eating habits were crazy though, very disordered, and I wouldn't want to go back to that.

The main aim is to get back down to a size 10, where I feel happiest.

Anyhow, DP is obviously aware of photos etc from back in the day. He made comments to the effect of "oh if I could get you like that now, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you!"

AIBU to think that this is a bit insensitive given the explanation I have already given him that I was basically on the cusp of an eating disorder and not happy at this weight?

Then it makes you feel really miserable at what you look like now.

YANBU.

1 at a size 12 you are not overweight particularly
2 the comments are mean and inappropriate.

Anyhow, DP is obviously aware of photos etc from back in the day. He made comments to the effect of "oh if I could get you like that now, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you!"

I'd have replied "in that case my job here is done"

A size 12 isn't overweight, and what makes him think you'd want his hands on you all the time.

If you have to ask if you should be offended, then you absolutely shouldn’t.

Being terribly upset though, 💯%.
What a mean, insensitive and unloving thing to say to you.
Talk to him about how he has made you feel. You should get an immediate and fulsome apology, and he should never say anything like that to you ever again.

What an arsehole.

Especially insensitive given your explanation, but even without that who looks at an old photo of someone they're supposed to love and says something like that?

Thanks for your comments - I didnt know if I was just being really overly sensitive when there is no need (just recently had a cancer scare and needed a LLETZ so currently healing and a bit emotional and fed up as well)

I am a bit overweight - my BMI is about 29 at the moment, but my weight seems to evenly distribute so my clothes size doesnt seem to go up as much as you may expect.

Need to do it the old fashioned, slow way though (no jabs due to thyroid issues!) and at the moment I cant do any strenous activity because of recovery from LLETZ, so a bit frustrated at the moment.

Also to note, he is no oil painting either, in fact his BMI is higher than mine, he is technically "obese", and had put on weight in the last few years also. I wouldnt dare mention it to him though.

I dont see any harm looking at old photos etc, as long as the commentary isn't around weight.