'Selfie tourism' - AIBU?

[SunflowerPosers]

This weekend I went to a beautiful sunflower field not far from where I live (NC for this as don't want it to be too outing), and I just wondered if anyone else feels the same way as me or whether I'm being too judgey and unreasonable?

There I was with my little DSLR camera trying to get some nice photos of sunflowers, and I couldn't believe the number of people who clearly thought the place existed for their own personal photo shoot.

Women (of a range of ages, not just the early 20s 'influencers') all clearly dressed up, doing 'candid' poses (where they deliberately don't look at the camera for some reason), instructing increasingly exasperated partners to take 20 more photos of them doing very similar poses. People walking around with obnoxiously large 'selfie sticks' where they've got the camera trained only on themselves the whole time, rather than just taking a moment to put their phone down and be present.

Maybe it's my age, but I don't really get it, and just think it all looks so cringeworthy. Of course, I understand wanting to get one or two photos of yourself in a nice location, but some people seem to take it to an extreme level of narcissistic behaviour.

And it seems to be common at so many places now. Go anywhere pretty, and you can barely move for the amount of people with selfie sticks. I'm half convinced that a lot of people you see on walks are only interested in getting photos of themselves to show where they've been, rather than actually enjoying walking!

Apparently there's a term for this sort of thing that I wasn't aware of, selfie tourism. People who specifically go to a location to get the perfect photo of themselves, rather than appreciating where they actually are.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks this is crazy?

Trying to keep up with the Joneses online doesn't help anyone's mental health. You make yourself look great, but then you post it and watch the 'like' counter, seeking the validation of others (because this all makes you insecure). But someone else got more 'likes' than you did. So you feel deflated.

I went to the tulip fields in the Netherlands and didn't take any photos at all. Do I win the worthy points?

Another vote for a bit hypocritical of you, OP. I can see the difference between taking photos of yourself and flowers, vs bees and flowers, but I don't think it's a difference one needs to be smug about. People wanting to look pretty in a pretty place and taking a pretty photo doesn't surprise or bother me.

I first witnessed this phenomenon in Santorini a few years ago. Lots of Korean women in elaborate hats and glamorous dresses were draping themselves all around Oia while their husbands dutifully followed them about with a camera and bags of props and costume changes. I found it comical to watch but couldn’t understand why someone would travel all that way to one of the most beautiful places in the world just to use it as a backdrop for their own narcissism.

People want to be the main character. They want validation, and that comes via their Instagram or TikTok accounts. The internet is turning humans into vacuous, self-absorbed fools.

Speak for yourself. I have a totally private instagram. Probably get ten likes a picture and couldn’t care less. I post for myself, and to show family members what I’m up to.

I visited a newly re-opened museum on Friday. It's amazing: every time you turn a corner there's a Renoir or Degas or Constable or Gainsborough or van Dyke or Rembrandt or Vermeer (you get my drift) casually hanging two inches from your face.

I'm a HUGE fan of timed entry (introduced during the pandemic), it's turned out to be a great way to ensure you can actually see the things you want to see. You don't have to wade through a crowd 8-people deep.

But MY GOD: the number of young couples who whizzed around looking at the little tags giving the title and painter of the piece, whipped around so their backs were to whihever painting, pouted and made a V sign for their partner to take a photo of them, and then just moved onto the next painting! It's wasn't one or two couples: it was easily a quarter of them. They didn't even stop to look at the painting: the whole visit seemed like an exercise in having photographic evidence that they were there.

YANBU, OP.

Honestly boils my piss. Self obsessed, vain and ignorant. Take one or two photos, and just enjoy where you are and what you're doing!

Sadly stories like this are all too common. I had a couple of friends who went to the Netherlands during the tulip season there, and they were shocked by people's behaviour. They witnessed various instances of trespassing, with people going in fields that weren't open to the public, just for the sake of some photos. Just for the sake of a 'look at me!' post on social media.

I've never trespassed or damaged the environment with my photography, but wait a second and someone else will be along to say they're one and the same thing in a minute...

Point is it’s not for themselves or their memories. It’s been excruciatingly curated for their audience. Guaranteed none of them look back on the photo and think oh what a memorable day that was…they look at how many likes they have on it and how many comments of “You look so beautiful ❤️” and “wow I’m SO jel, I wish I could go travelling” and “You’re such a free spirit!” in order to gain validation, sometimes at the expense of others’ whose life circumstances are not as fortunate as their own (eg. It makes them feel as though they’re more interesting/cultured/fun because they can afford to travel when others can’t) - that’s just an example of this specific circumstance, every “extreme selfie” has its own example. It’s totally fucked up.

You’ll have forgotten all about it in a couple of weeks. What a shame none of you thought to take a photo to jog your memory later. Very sad to have your attitude.

YANBU, it's horrible and self obsessed and vain. 1 or 2 nice photos - sure why not. Acting like you are starring in your own magazine shoot - yuck.
I was on holiday in a gorgeous place in Italy a couple of years ago. I couldn't get anywhere near the pool because of the succession of posers lounging idiotically on the edge of the infinity bit and trout pouting into the middle distance. I may have given up waiting politely and gone for a splashy swim anyway...

But, as a young woman, I’m telling you that’s not the case. But you seem resigned to putting us all in the same box and being, frankly, disgusting about us. Imagine if I made comments based on older women’s looks, saying they didn’t care about it for XYZ reason? I’d be told I’m sexist, ageist, and a million and one other things. But when it comes to us young women, we must all be vapid narcissists who have nothing going on upstairs.

I’ll admit I have a selfie stick for taking the odd photo of me and DH on our travels, but only because my phone’s selfie camera is crap - not wide angle enough and gets virtually nothing into the photo other than our heads.

I’m not sure the memory point is necessarily true. I take a lot of photos because I barely remember anything I haven’t photographed, whereas my memories of photographed events are much clearer. I do have aphantasia, which might be part of this - and SDAM is a related condition, but for me taking photos is an important part of being present and remembering experiences. So I have a lot of photos of me and friends and family doing even ordinary things.

(I do however loathe people who film concerts, fireworks etc. Does anybody even watch those back? I understand filming snippets of people you love, but public events - I don’t get it).

ETA: none of the photos I take are on social, but many are framed in my house and printed in photo books or in digital photo albums that I do look at regularly for the memories. I am also young(ish) so it’s not about being performative for me.

I have zero interest in being in any pictures so I just don't get it at all. I like to take pictures of DC if it's because they are doing something or it's an activity of some kind but anything that is a landscape or a famous site or generally a photo of a beautiful view I don't want any people in it ever.

This is my issue! If there are going to be hundreds of people blocking my view of every beautiful thing for the rest of my life, then I’d rather those people were at least actually looking at the beautiful thing. Enjoying it. Absorbing it into their hearts. Maybe taking a photo of it. Whatever. Just not standing with their BACKS to it, taking photos OF THEMSELVES.

Do you think that the people the OP is on about have just ten followers?

I don’t know and to be quite frank, I don’t care? This entire thread has been horrid, spitting sexist and ageist tropes about young women. We’re all vain narcissists who only care about social media likes, apparently.

Oh, come now, people have ALWAYS taken pictures of themselves for the memories and you know it. It’s just silly to pretend that there is no difference between taking 30 seconds max to pose while someone takes 3 or 4 photos in quick succession in case you blink on one, and taking over a whole scene for more than 5 minutes, checking how each shot looks on screen, and taking even longer if someone dares to be in the background minding their own business. All of which happens now, it’s infuriating and it’s fucking selfish.

Anyway, if someone’s that bothered about me being in the background of their shot then while they’re editing and filtering themselves to look perfect they can edit me out of the shot too. 😆

This is obviously not true haha. I largely agree with your original point, but you can take about as many interesting photos of a sunflower as you can of people (including selfies).

Agreed that the fakeness of it is one of the most nauseating things about it. Also I don’t think it’s just a generational thing, maybe broadly it is, but more specifically I think it’s a personality thing. Your niece sounds like my aunt, who is in her 60s and is a nightmare to be around. She’d spend a family party bitching about all her relatives, criticising her own children’s weight in front of people, and arguing with everyone and anyone and then you’d get a Facebook notification 3 hours later (because she still uses Facebook!) and there’d be this massive photo dump of her with all the family members she’d been bitching about smiling with her arms round them. And the caption would read something like “Lovely day with the family, so nice to catch up with the people I love most in the world.” It’s all for show and slightly delusional because the same family members she insulted hours earlier obviously see these photos and wonder what on earth is going on in her brain!

Instagram (TikTok et al) is ruining travel 🫣

I don’t think this is a helpful way to try to improve one’s self-esteem. If one needs to believe they look ‘stunning’ to have value or worth in the world, they are in for a lifetime of expense and insecurity or disappointment. I do hope if you have children that you don’t encourage them to try to look ‘stunning’ in order to feel good about themselves.

This. I almost never remember to take photos because we're actually enjoying the moment - the sunflowers or the castle or the dinner with friends.

The "Living My Best Life" poses, when their attention is entirely on themselves and how they look, not the thing they are allegedly enjoying, just makes me sad.

And, of course, your view is the only view that matters?

I genuinely enjoy putting on makeup. Not for anyone else (I’m sat in a room by myself all day!), but for me. I put my music on, drink a coffee, and spend 15 minutes in the morning (or longer if I’m going out) doing my makeup. I enjoy using different eyeshadows, blush, contour techniques etc. I love putting on a red lip, it’s genuinely fun to me.

I also like doing my hair. I have very fine hair, and get extensions - so when I get to style that, it’s a real treat to me. Because my natural hair just doesn’t hold a style. Even post a wet French plait it will be pin straight within an hour. So getting the chance to style and do my hair is fun.

I like picking out outfits, because I’ve lost seven stone and I’m unrecognisable to how I used to be.

so no, I’m not vain or a narcissist, I just enjoy doing those things.

That’s why I play “ Instagram alert “ See someone posing for the gram. Say “instagram alert”, if possible take a photo and share it to the instagram alert group chat. Get a point. Person with most points at end of the day is the winner.
it’s fun