To think that this isn’t good enough?

[OrangeOctopusEyes]

Hi all,
DP (of 6 years) and I have 2 under 3 (11months and 2.5 year old). Last week DP didn’t see myself or the LO’s at all due to work/appointments/other commitments. I then taxied him to a drinking session before 9am on Saturday. He came home at 3am Sunday Morning, I’d arranged to go out for the morning whilst he had the children. I was late leaving as he wouldn’t change a nappy, when I arrived home there was mess everywhere and he was lay on the sofa saying ‘please stop daddy is poorly’ (not ill by the way just hungover!). I had the baby monitor notifications on my phone and noticed whilst I was out that the youngest had been left crying in the cot for about 40 minutes. I’d done every second of childcare for the entire week and just wanted a few hours and feel hugely let down. AIBU to feel that this isn’t good enough? Or is it normal for Dads to still carry on as usual?

He's a disgrace, I dont think there's anything else to say.

You were massively unreasonable to leave your two such small children with your still pissed other half. 😡

Oh come on to fuck! I don't want to be overly harsh but surely you know this is beyond unacceptable.

All day bender - unacceptable.
Refusing to change his child's nappy ?!?!?! - unacceptable.
Leaving a baby distressed for 40 mins- unacceptable.

No it isn’t acceptable, and he is a disgrace, frankly. What are you going to do about it, op?

Totally agree. Also unreasonable to have the second child seeing him being this gus with the first

Why do you even need to ask? Please raise your bar. You don't need to put up with this shit.

I had arranged to work a small job at 9am just to boost my mat leave pay a little. Dropping him off at the time I did I wasn’t expecting him to be home so late obviously.

Unfortunately you didn't have childcare because he wasn't capable. Is he ever capable? Noone would leave my baby crying like that more than once

This can’t be real, surely?

He actually started drinking at 9 in the morning??

He obviously cares about his drink and his social life more than his own children. What a disgrace of a man.

I honestly wouldn't feel the same about someone who didn't care enough about his own children to look after them properly.

This really is a case of you and your little family being better off without him.

Totally agree, this was neglect on your part OP as well as his. How could you?

Totally agree, this was neglect on your part OP as well as his. How could you?

Not normal at all leaving a baby to cry for 40 minutes is abusive its neglect. He wouldn't be coming anywhere near my children after that he'd have to take me to court

I then taxied him to a drinking session before 9am on Saturday.

I'm not sure I understand. Did you drive your husband to the pub before 9am? Were you brought up by alcoholics OP because you've asked if his behaviour is normal.

You shouldn't have left your young children with someone who'd been drinking for nearly 20 hours.

Why are you doing all the childcare all week? You're not married so why is he not doing his half?

Wow, some of you are really sanctimonious

No, the father is the unreasonable one in this scenario!!

2 kids with a useless fucker.
What a life.

You would be better off as a single parent than with this let down. Not a family man is he?

He's a loser who can't prioritize his dc.

I honestly think I'd leave someone who left my baby to cry for 40 mins, it's abusive! I don't care how sick he felt, normal unselfish people don't do that.

Indeed.

A 24 hr bender with 2 small kids and a wife (who he's ignored all week) at home.
Absolutely disgraceful.

I'd be getting my things in order and letting him become someone else's problem.

I struggle to believe he wasnt this much of a useless fucker when you just had the first one... it takes 2 to tango... while it be harder to do it alone with 2 vs 1 you at least got your 2 beautiful children out of it 💕

he didnt see them all week then fucked off on a bender for the weekend

wtf

First response nails it

If this IS real, it can’t be the first time he’s pulled this shit, so what is your plan?

Normal? No. Next weekend plan your own day away. But if Shame him - he’s a disgrace to leave the baby crying like that. Does he know what parenting means? Can you actually have a reasonable conversation with him about his responsibilities?