If you have an international relationship…

[FionaOccupier]

Do you always go together to visit the overseas family?

I always have done previously but now, six years in, I really can’t be bothered. I don’t speak the language fluently (DP has no interest in helping me to learn), the family are lovely but busy living their lives, the location is beautiful but very rural and I’ve done everything worth doing, and DP’s focused on catching up with his friends and family. It feels like I spend 90% of my annual leave nodding and smiling.

AIBU to skip it next time?

I’d happily do that, but he has older children in the UK. We have talked about moving over when they’re grown, but tbh I no longer think I’d like to live in the village. It’s too insular for me.

i completely understand.
we always had in the plans retiring in my home country, in my small home town. Now the plans are to retire in the capital which is just 100 km away from my home town. I had to explain to my family the reason of the change because they couldn’t understand. Now they all think it’s perfect for us.

I stayed at home, enjoyed having the bed to myself and peace and quiet. But I am very happy with my own company and am a home body which I know not everyone is.

When the kids were 3+ he would take them with him.

I only go for big occasions now, I've seen all I want to see and have many friends and acquaintances there so it's nice enough when I do.

We usually have a holiday together somewhere else as well.