To wrestle DD into her car seat?

[lostmymojoinsoftplay]

It sounds light hearted but could really use advice. DD turned two last week and has started being really difficult about the car seat. She arches her back and fights it and I really feel like I’m shoving and wrestling and grabbing her. It feels horrible to be honest. I wondered if anyone has any suggestions that might help? I’ve tried things like toys, drinks, snacks but they don’t often always work.

I don't have a kid so feel free to disregard although I have spent a lot of time with toddlers!

At a time when you don't need to go out and she's in a good mood, could you show her photos of her in a car seat before (from babyhood up to now) and explain that you have always put her in the seat to keep her safe while you're driving.

Just to add - you're definitely not doing the wrong thing though, you need to be insistent that she's in her car seat. Good luck, anyway. I actually think it's easier to get them into car seats than it is to keep them there once they figure out to undo the buckle.

Ugh Such a horrible stage when they go through this. Often there’s not much you can do as obviously she needs to be in a car seat and sometimes there’s not time for negotiating / waiting until she is bored of kicking off and will get in calmly.

you ANBU.

i would however:

• check she is in the correct sized car seat. Maybe she is getting a bit big for it and it’s uncomfortable? Maybe there are more comfy options out there you could switch to with more padding etc?
• face her forward if she is still rear facing
• consider putting her car seat in the front passenger seat while she goes through this stage as often they like the view and being closer to you. I may get flamed for suggesting this though as ideally she should be in the back seat, however sometimes needs must and it doesn’t have to be forever (or on longer journeys when using motorway etc)

Judicious use of the elbow was generally very effective when mine were young.

as was pulling over and stopping the car when they world out how to undo the straps. “Sorry, we can’t drive without you being strapped in, as I’d be in trouble with the police so we’ll just wait here, in a very dull and quiet car”.

This is the karate chop method. She needs to get in the seat, you her in and fight her to get the straps on. They all do the going stiff thing, it’s not something for discussion you grab them, get the straps and and don’t negotiate

We went through this stage. Get her in, fasten the straps very loosely and then talk to her to calm her down, slowly tightening the straps. When she's relaxed, tighten them the final amount. It was a horrible stage but car safety comes first. I wouldn't move the seat or change to forward facing though - it's just a stage you have to get through.

She's just turned too. She should not be forward facing at all.
Rear facing in the front with the airbag off is fine

You’re the parent….parent her!

Generally when i am having a tough time i turn it into a game. For example teeth brushing to start i get the brush tickle tickle their sides their arms tickle tickle and tickle tickle their face. When they are used to me being silly with the tooth brush i tickle the front of their teeth then quickly brush part of their mouth between going to back to playing the silly game

So for a car seat i would start playing a game tossing them into the air blowing raspberries on their tummy. Who's my funny girl getting them really riled up and distracted ,while their laughing sit them in the chair. If they start bending or planking tickle their tummy or sides ,start engaging what are you doing are you a tree are you pretending to be a tree. Tickle distract them with a silly face

In my better moments I make games, create competitions and cheerfully encourage…. in my less good moments I wrestle 🤷‍♀️