Changing kids for swimming on play date

[wasitwrong]

I took my kids to a play date recently - they’re 3 and 5 and the child has a little pool.

I brought all their swimming stuff and was changing them by the pool ( but trying to protect their modesty a little bit ). The mum kept telling me to go inside, but it was literally nearly done and I was happy to just get on with it from where I was sitting.

when my little one came out of the pool to be changed, no one was out where we were, so again, I started changing him- sort of covering his modesty as much as I could, but not entirely.

the mum came out with the daughter and told her not to look and again told me to go inside.

it was nearly done so I just again, covered him and got him dressed. When it was my DDs turn, I went inside to change her.

anyway, I didn’t think it was a big deal. But then thought, did I make a massive faux pas there ? I didn’t expose my kids, but at the same time I was also not too concerned about the whole thing. I was just naturally helping them get dressed and undressed- whilst also chatting to the mum etc. but I felt like she thought it wasn’t appropriate and I should be going inside to do it.

I guess this is AIBU, so most people will say I’m a disgusting human for doing what I did or that I’m overthinking the mum’s behaviour but I did feel she was like ‘ go inside ‘. A lot of times and I was just breezy doing my thing.

I’m guessing you won’t be invited back. The host made her wishes clear and you ignored them. Doesn’t matter if you agree or disagree with the way she does things at her house, you were rude.

I was going to say this about neighbours maybe being a factor I’ve changed my son in our garden don’t know if I would in someone else’s but regardless if a host asked me to move inside I would as their guest do it just to respect their house rules

This is it, all day long for me.

I wouldn't have batted an eyelid if I was the host.

But I'm not the host and nor were you OP, so you should've respected her wishes.

I’ve already been back, so it can’t have been that bad.. I initially thought she was trying to make us comfortable, rather than herself. When she kept saying it, I did change my DD inside.

Surely if the host asks you to go inside you simply… go inside?

Hadn't considered a poncho. Great suggestion. Have just ordered a few for my own DC.

I live in Spain and most parents just let their toddlers bathe naked at the beach, they wear swimsuits at the public pool, but dry and change by the side of the pool.
They are babies and I see no issues with this normal behaviour

Sadly probably this. Although she's a weird if she's afraid of a naked 3 and 5 yo

The 3 year old I would be less concerned especially with a poncho but at 5 they usually want privacy, DS has just finished Y1 he is 6 some of his classmates are still 5. We took them to a play area after the last day of term and all of them were saying they wanted to stay in their uniform and not get changed (5 boys) until I said to DS come on let's get changed in the toilets, and he laughed and then said ok because he thought I'd wanted him to get changed in the seating area with people around. The others quickly followed suit and got changed in toilet cubicles. They all did the pants lessons in reception and it was revisited in Y1.

She sounds a little OTT. I mean I get the idea of modesty and dignity. But tiny kids getting changed in an enclosed garden in someone's house isn't exactly likely to attract a legion of paedos peeping through the shrubbery.

But I guess it's her home, and if she's got a thing about her pre pubescent daughter accidentally briefly seeing another small child's genitals I guess you need to respect her wishes if you want to keep going there.

Everyone keeps saying that the OP should have gone inside when asked but the host may have been asking in a way to say that the OP is welcome inside if it was easier for her as opposed to telling her to go in. In which case I would also not have gone in and said no worries

the mum came out with the daughter and told her not to look and again told me to go inside.

Doubt it.

the mum came out with the daughter and told her not to look and again told me to go inside.

Even the OP thinks it was an instruction not a suggestion

They're little kids, I would have no problem with changing them outside

That’s how it felt. It didn’t feel like she was ordering me inside.

I don’t think you did anything wrong at all then.

🤣 yes crime of the century right there⚠️

What are you on about, this is a mild situation where the OP was asking for other’s opinions on the situation. It’s usual to do what a host requests when you are their guest, rude not to. Why the need to be hyperbolic? Weird.

Anyway as a pp mentioned OP she may have known that a neighbour that can see into her garden isn’t someone you’d want your kid to be naked in front of. Who knows. As you have been invited back and so are clearly on friendly terms , why not just ask her why she doesn’t want kids getting changed in the garden?