Is it unreasonable to sell hand me downs?

[LuckyAquaExpert]

Would you feel it was cheeky to see your hand me downs on Vinted? It's weirdly making me feel sentimental/pissed off.

I'd rather have them back to pass on to someone else in need. I passed them on thinking I was helping

I think it's polite to offer them back to the giver or at least pay it forward for free.

I was talking about this today with DH. A couple of friends have kindly handed down clothes to us in the past. Both specifically said “don’t worry if you don’t want all of it but please pass on what you don’t want/need.”

I am very happy to go along with their wishes because I was lucky enough to benefit and wouldn’t want to make money off of their generosity. So I’m fine with selling things I’ve paid for but anything gifted to me I give to charity or pass on to other friends.

Logically, you can’t dictate what someone else does with something you have gifted them but UANBU to find it cheeky and unbecoming and to not gift them anything in future.

It’s a massive trend for people to just go into every charity shop in their area and sweep up all the half decent stuff in there to resell at a much higher price.

Yes, the charity still get a the money but charity shops serve a duel purpose. People in need have to shop there and buy second hand, even things like used bed sheets.

It just means that the people that rely on second hand for clothes and kids toys etc don’t get a look in at even mid quality stuff and are left with the absolute junk. Some charity shops aren’t cheap anymore either because the staff go on eBay and price everything at the resell price instead of the second hand price.

It doesn’t sound like a big deal in the grand scheme of things but it can be death by a thousand cuts for those who are struggling.

I think most people that have children donate their clothes somewhere unless they are keeping them / selling them on vinted but even then you always have bits to give away surely .. its not a humble brag to say they would have gone to the women's refuge at all, i usually donate to a baby bank & local NCT it helps other mums & gets things out my way loads of people do this ...& I would be slightly miffed if clothes I could have given to a worthy cause that really needed them were being sold on vinted after I'd gifted them ..it does add context that they would have been going to a refuge rather than down the tip aswell.

Of course they're for people in need, who do you think their target audience for "shoppers" are.

I have sold bundles of clothes before and they may have included hand me downs as I forget who gave me what quickly

I have recently sold hand me downs on vinted.

To be fair I categorically said I did not want anything as had too much of my own to sell!!! Still I have 4 giant loft sacks thrust upon me. Not even given for me to refuse but left for me when I couldn’t decline.

I am not keen on the charity route currently. Huge amounts of clothes are being dumped onto African countries. There are whole coastlines of discarded clothes.

So yes I have been bundling them into useable bundles as a mix with my own selling ie. 7 vest, 7 outfits, 7 sleep suits, a coat, hat, gloves etc. Trying to make useful complete and colour themed bundles so that people can buy one set to meet complete needs. I sell these for a small fee to discourage reseller buyers and these are well received.

Two minds about this.

• Big bundles of stuff you've passed on as it gets it out of your house, the recipient hasn't asked for it specifically and may end up with a lot of stuff they do not need/want - then it's really up to them how they get rid of it, they've done you a favour by getting it out of your house.
• Small amounts of selected stuff they've asked for/you've offered specific items, particularly things with a long lifespan. Cheeky as fuck for them to benefit from freebies and then profit again by selling.

I wore a lot of hand me downs - high end items too, not just clothing. Bicycles, leather hiking boots, sports equipment.

This would then be passed on again to kids in our parents friendship group who were younger than us. No one would DREAM of selling this stuff! If there was no one in the immediate or slightly less immediate circles to pass to, then it would go to charity shops.

I was reading back through the messages to her last night. I did say to her "feel free to pass on anything you don't like/have use for so I'm not cluttering your house". I also sent photos of some items to make sure she wanted them

I am also telling myself that people could easily forget where items come from and just put everything on Vinted

I would say don't give away anything you feel particularly sentimental about, because once you've given it away it's theirs to do what they like with. If they can be bothered to sell it, good for them, surely?

Exactly.

I think she should have had a conversation with you. This is a reason I do not like having people I know follow me on Vinted. I did get given hand me downs from someone who works with my mum and I did a sort (charity, keep, Vinted). My mum then offered the woman the money I had made from Vinted (she refused so I brought her daughter a tonie character with the money).

God, I couldn’t remember who gave me what in the early stages particularly so the idea of checking in if people wanted something back is kind of mad to me. So many people were very kind. I’m not organised enough to sell things on Vinted. Our local charity shops don’t accept children’s clothes, so I can understand someone selling things on Vinted to give them another use. I fortunately had lots of friends and relatives with younger children so just paid it forward. And I don’t remember what I gave to who either!

I should maybe point out our sons are 8 and 9, not newborns. A lot of sporty clothes mostly and some swimming stuff

She's selling the stuff for 3 - 5 pounds each, not exactly billionaire status 😄

Oh I had this- friend in need, unexpected pregnancy. Gave her a baby bjorn carrier, Boden baby clothes, unused mam pump & kit etc. Didn’t assume, asked if she wanted. She was very grateful. I couldn’t help with money but was happy to be able to help with baby items. Days later- on FB marketplace. Really stung. Was never quite sure if she was technically out of line or not, guess she needed the money but so did I!

Our local free cycling group has a rule that you cant sell on what others give. One lady was taking stuff and putting it on Facebook Marketplace. She was removed from the group, to allow others in need to have the stuff

I view it the same way

No once you’ve given them away they no longer belong to you.

Give them to a charity shop if you want to be charitable.

If you wanted to sell them you should have.
Their tax bracket is irrelevant.
It’s not very gracious to give something in return”kindness” then be so petty.

Loads of people can't be bothered to sell stuff, it takes time and energy to do so. If you wanted to sell it you could have. You chose not to. Once you give someone something, unless you make it clear it's a loan and you want it back, then it's none of your business what they do with it.

People will say that once it is gifted it is up to the receiver to do as they wish, but morally, I would pass on something if it was passed on to me (and check whether the gifter wanted it back first if appropriate)

You should do it subtly though. Eg if I have a buggy or something expensive to a mum at nursery and then she tried to resell it a week later on our clsss WhatsApp I would be appalled. But if she does it more subtly then it's not my business

If I was her I would actually consider it a bit rude to offer to give them back to you tbh, getting rid of stuff when you have kids is an endless task and I would feel uncomfortable asking someone if they wanted their (already unwanted) now slightly more used items back again!

ETA - if I was the type of person to sell stuff (I'm not that organised) I'm not sure it would occur to me that I shouldn't sell stuff I'd been given, I also probably wouldn't necessarily remember what came from where.

I don't sell stuff that I've been given. I pass it on or it goes into the charity collection.

However, we have so much stuff to sort and pass on that I might accidentally forget that something was a gift.

I dislike people who take stuff and then want to give it back to you when they've not got any further use for it. No, the downside of having the use of the item is that now it's your responsibility to dispose of it conscionably 😂!

IMO that is very different. If I give something on the free cycle page I expect that person to use it. After they are done with it though it is up to them if they pass it on for free or try to make a few bob off it.

I have given a baby bath, angel seat, next to me and a lot of bedding to a cousin. I would be pissed off if she put it all straight on vinted. But she won't as I know she is using it for her baby after. If she goes to the effort of selling it after that's ok with me. I wanted it out of my house.

I sold 5 maternity dresses for €5 when I was decluttering recently. I know one or two of those were hand me downs.