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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I call out her behaviour?

28 replies

3sausagedogs · 27/07/2025 16:47

Me and my friend have been friends for years. She went on a yearly holiday to a family villa in Spain for 2 weeks every year for £100 a week. I was always nice, asked about it, fed her cats, watered her plants and took my kids to Devon etc. I’m a single parent and Deven was a nice holiday. Last year I took my kids aboard after getting a new job which is full time and stressful. I’ve paid for a nice hotel and all inclusive and it’s a really treat again this year. I go without and save all year for my holiday. Today my friend announced she was off on holiday so I asked her all about it etc she said it’s another villa in Benidorm etc so I was really nice and interested she then proceeded to say in quite a nasty way that she offered an all inclusive hotel to her kids and they said they wouldn’t go on holiday somewhere kids wee in the pool she said I guess my kids are snobs. Ok I didn’t say anything at the time but I’m actually really upset. She’s never been nasty before and I don’t even talk about my holiday, it was pretty nasty how she said it and I’m wondering if I should message and say something? If so what should I say?

OP posts:
ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 28/07/2025 10:55

Cherry8809 · 28/07/2025 10:35

I think you’re being far too over sensitive, and you’re projecting your insecurities about your trip on to her.

She’s clearly not adverse to an all-inclusive holiday, as she’s literally offered/suggested one to her own family!

She sounds frustrated by her kids lack of enthusiasm/uptake.

The implication I took from the OP was not that she had genuinely offered an all inclusive holiday to her children, just that she was using it as a device to make a snide comment about OP’s holiday under the cover of putting her words into her children’s mouths.

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 28/07/2025 11:02

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 28/07/2025 10:08

Would she still want to be friends with you if you got an even better job and suddenly had a much wealthier lifestyle than her? Your post only gives this one incident so it depends what the rest of your friendship is like. But I’ve seen quite a few instances of people’s friends turning on them when they start doing better. Some people like to have poorer or less successful friends around so that they can feel superior. They want to be able to look down on you. As I said, one incident is not enough to go off, so just bear it in mind. Real friends cheer you on when you start doing better for yourself, regardless of their own situation.

Thank you and glad you see what my quote aboiut jealousy was based around.

l have seen this type of reaction before with people when they are under pressure. And start to show their true colours.

I think a big issue with sites like this..Is that obviously we dont know the people involved. So all of our posts are based around guess work and the information given

Shinyandnew1 · 28/07/2025 17:50

I’m wondering if I should message and say something?

I wouldn't. If she's your friend, then I wouldn't automatically assume she's being a cow.

If you really think she isn't being nice, then do be friends with people like that.

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